In the Blink

Things can just change. Blam.

Dad has a heart attack. Now he can't work. Someone needs to take care of him, so mom can't work for a while. Then everyone falls behind on the bills and and bills are worse because of the medical expenses.

It doesn't even have to happen to you directly. Last year Lex saw someone get run-over by a crane at work. Now he has panic attacks and can't make it to work some days. Disability doesn't like to pay for psychiatric stuff. It's very hard to document, and anyway, they had some psychologist come in and set everyone straight.

Even me, I woke up two days ago with my eye all puffed up. At my age everything can be the beginning of the end. What if this was serious?

Doesn't seem to be. It' cleared up. The best I can figure is that I had an allergic reaction to the very expensive Scotch I got to drink at Christmas. I'm not sure. It may be worth testing that theory a few times.

I've posted about so many of these things before: heart attacks, falling off the roof, auto accidents, strokes, houses burning, factories closing, jobs disappearing.

The worse part is when it's unexpected, and then people take it personally, as if they did something to deserve all that. Sometimes, if they were drinking, gambling, drugging or speeding, maybe they did.

Usually, it's the way of the world -- random.

Drive carefully.

Holiday Party

We are back from the holiday rounds, ending at a friend's Xmas party. For various complex reasons we were invited to join in with their family.

It was weird. It was just like my last post. There were wives and husbands and kids. But each wife was with their new boyfriend, and the each husband was an ex, and some where there with their new girlfriends. Everyone was there, being polite, and acting fine for the kids. Some had come from other places where their kids were with their
ex-es, and their new significant others. Two or three generations of parted, re-formed and blending families.

Kind of, at least on Christmas.

I guess it's all very civil. It's the new "Brittany World."

I can see that I am getting old.

Holiday cheer?

It's holiday time again. I am busier than ever. it seems that almost everyone I've ever seen wants to come back this week. They all are seeing their families, and no grudge is ever forgotten.

The people who seem to be the most upset are those whose parents are divorced and remarried, especially if they have been remarried two or three times. Then you can add to this the couples I see, where each member of the couple has parents who are divorced and remarried.

So, who do you visit, and how much time do you spend, and who gets to see the kids and give which gifts, and who gets left out, and what resentments are left over from last year? Does Mom still cry when it's time to go see Dad? Or does Mom have a restraining order on Dad, which makes bringing everyone together for the Family Christmas a little risky. Especially when your brother is a cop and would have to arrest Dad for coming near Ma.

The best one I heard this year was a woman whose mother has a last name that is recognizable in a certain ethnic group. She was born with that last name and then married a man who also had it. She divorced him, and her next two marriages were all to men who had that same name, so now, at seventy, she has never changed her name, has six kids from three different men, now has fifteen grandchildren -- and everyone has the same last name, and no one remembers who is whose, but they all don't get along.

merry holiday!!

stuck

Ronna is quite attractive, with a very winning smile, even though she is about 120 pounds over-weight. Her weight problem has led to other medical problems which has resulted in her losing her job.

Now she is without a job and is poor.

She is attractive, very articulate, and easy to get along with. That gives me the false impression that she should be able to see what has happened to her and make the necessary changes.

But she is stuck. She has been knocked down so often that she doesn't see the point in getting up.

In many ways she has been dealt bad cards and delivered into bad situations that were totally out of her control. But, in other way she has come to accept that as the way life is.

It is my job to show her that the effort to make these difficult changes will be worth it. If I can support her through the first small steps, and prevent her from resenting the effort it takes, she could begin to do very well.

I just wish she would help me a little more.

anecdotal

If a man finally gets to go out with a woman, and it is a woman who he knows has been with many different men, and then that woman shows no interest in him, even if he hardly has gotten to know her, he will he hurt and upset. This usually leads to anger, and he will vilify her.

However, if she does choose to be with him, he will often become very jealous and possessive. Because of that she will leave him and he will be hurt and angry.

This is not a scientific statement, but I have seen it happen several times.