The Difference

This was an interesting week.
Last week I was away, lolling around, stretching, eating, making sure the tide ran on schedule.

This week I was back at work. It was interesting, and mostly predictable to see who had done what while I was away. Some people worked hard to make their lives better. They thought about the things we had talked about, they tried to make some changes. They are the ones who make this job worth it.

Some people worked hard, and thought about things, but are still stuck. Their attempts at changes, both internal and external/interpersonal/environmental, did not make much difference. I feel badly, because they are trying, and maybe I should be figuring out things better.

Of course, others did little. They came to see me again, and tell me the same stuff, with a few new excuses about why it was too difficult to take their finger out of their nose. "I know," I tell them, "life's tough, but, in the end, it's your life to do with what you will."

The differences between groups one and two is usually somewhat apparent. There could unmovable people in their lives, their may be physical impediments, or financial ones, or sometimes it is a real brain thing. But, there is a reason that I think I understand.

Why the folks in group three choose, and I use that word intentionally, to suffer, I don't know. Mostly, they don't see it as a choice. Usually, I do. Sometimes, I can see what the choice gives them. I try to change it, but I can't. Sometimes I really can't tell why they just continue to wallow in their own psychic mud.

The people in group three seem to love coming to therapy. But coming to therapy isn't going to make changes in their lives. They have to use what they get from therapy to make changes. Sometimes that's a tough sell.