Listen to the silence

I am currently seeing two patients who are suffering from a huge fear of flying. Is is not only the fear do plumiting helplessly to earth from 30,000 feet as much as just being trapped in a long aluminum tube without any chance of getting out for hours. Relax, sit back, enjoy the time off. Fat chance But I did. I got on a plane and flew out here in six hours. On the plane i read a great article on panic attacks. The plane landed, we picked up a car and three hours later we were up on the high desert. Joshua Tree National Park. Amazing rock formations, spectacular cactus, and high, flat arid lands that go on for ever. We walked the trails, gazed at the rocks, and wondered at the creation of it all. At one point as my friends walked on I climbed up on a rock formation. I climbed up and over several layers of rocks on top of rocks. I stood and looked over the long stretch of valley, flat, dry, accentuated with those beautiful Joshua cacti. I took a slow deep breath and realized, suddenly, there was no wind, there were no birds, there was no traffic. I held my breath and realized there was a kind of complete silence that I have not heard for years. The sky was clear,the rocks were immovable, the world was still and so quiet. I stood there on top of a small rock pile,looking over the valley, listening closely to the silence. I could not take a picture of it, I couldn't record it, I couldn't put It up on Facebook to share with my "friends.". I could only be there, in the moment, being me in the world, letting the moment envelope me; just being. Maybe five of the most alive minutes in months. The my wife called, wondering what happened to me. I rejoined my friends, and became part of society again. But more than before, being me, in the moment.Grateful to just be alive.