American Dream?

After a very fulfilling, enjoyable, gratifying long weekend spent down at a cottage by the Bay which was filled with what is now three generations of family, I drove to work today and was very aware of the huge difference between the fortunate life that I lead and the lives of many of my patients. On the drive I heard that NPR is going to do a series all summer long about the state of "The American Dream."

I have often told people that the most brilliant thing I have ever done in my life was to be born two years ahead of the Baby Boomers. That meant that when I applied to college, not that many people were applying yet, when I bought a house the big wave of home buyers would follow me and my house would be worth more.  My children were two years ahead of most Boomer's kids. I went to grad school when the government wanted psychologists, so they paid me to go --very unlike today. I had enough money to begin to buy stocks in 1979.  Although I made a zillions bad stock purchases I did buy MSFT, RIMM and AAPL when they were new companies and that made up of all the losses
( missed GOOG, I have not yet bought FB).

My wife is still good-looking and still a force whose ideas need to be constantly considered.  My kids are healthy, employed and already own their own homes.  Their kids are round and cute and curious and smiling. We all went to the beach, played golf, had cook-outs. There are always a few ripples in this perfect picture; I only hope they are enough to drive the jinx away.

Every year of the thirty years that I have worked has felt as if our social environment has made my job more difficult. There was AIDS in the 80s, and lots of divorces.  There was crack and lots of bad drugs in the 90s, as well as perverted priest and rampant speculation. There have been huge changes in how we live and think which have been brought about by technology. There were the credit card and re-mortgaging binges of the 0's that were a big part of what led to the world financial collapse.

But I have never seen so many people who feel helpless and hopeless when they look to the future.  This is felt most dramatically by people in their mid-20s and mid-50s.  There are not enough jobs for either of those groups.  The younger ones can't get started and the older ones have been tossed aside.  The combination of a global workforce, the economic slow-down and technological worker replacement has hurt people not only financially, but in their sense of purpose. It is very difficult to gain any traction in your life when you feel the world doesn't need you.

I do believe that many people will realize that it is foolish to try to jump through corporate hoops and to live your life chasing after money and fame.  I believe that eventually many parts of our society will establish a more worthy sense of values that will guide them towards happier more meaningful lives. But I am struck by the number of people, young and old, who are really lost and cannot function well in our new, more complex, more interconnected world. Many young people are lost to video games, Facebook, pot and pills.  Many older people, who are still too young for Social Security, seem to be trying to become pathetic enough to go on disability.

Some people feel they were screwed by the system ( and they were).  Others really don't know what it means to work hard and take care of themselves.  Often, it's the same people.

The American Dream is that things will always be getting better.  I think many of us need to decide what "better" means.  Then we can figure out how to get there.