He sits and talks to me about the stress and anxiety he feels trying to keep his business running during these changing times. He feels it was much easier when his father ran the business, and I have to agree with him. His father had it easier sending him to college than it is for him to send his daughter. Finding employees who are reliable and sophisticated is difficult he says. I don't quite agree with him on that because I don't pull away from everyone who speaks with an accent.
Soon we are talking about Ferguson and Baltimore the Black Deaths, the protests, and the riots.He agrees that many police people misuse their power. Sometimes enforcement seems almost arbitrary. And the court system is a mess. He knows; he's been sued a few times on matters even he and the judge couldn't understand. But it still cost a lot of time, money and aggravation.
But what about those kids in the streets. That's a mess too, he says. It drives people away, he says, even those who feel sympathetic to the cause.
Would anything change if they stayed quiet? I asked.
He gave me a look that said "Oh my God, you're one of those!"
Maybe it's really a good strategy. It certainly gets attention." I said, feeling that I had overstated my case and gave the kids too much credit for actually having a strategy.
Then I didn't ask what he thought about so many Black men being in jail, most of whom for things white men don't go to jail for. And while you're in jail you can't be with your family and be a role model for your son. And when you get out of jail you can't get a job because you've been in jail.
So then you stay mad at the white cop who arrested you for smoking a joint, or for giving him attitude, or for just being big and Black on a dark night in the city. And you son gets angry too.
While I wasn't saying all of those things my friend asked me why these kids didn't just take advantage of all of the new educational opportunities being offered to them. Why didn't they stay in school and get good jobs.
I asked him how many would somehow get $70,000 to go to NYU with is daughter. I didn't bring up my concern about new studies which show that if kids are undernourished, impoverished, abused or neglected their brains don't grow as fast or develop as completely. And how Black children face the same problems in school that they do on the streets: they get suspended and expelled for things that white kids are made to stay after school. I did say that in those elite, often privately funded special city school that have small classes. long days and a lot of structure, many of those inner city kids do very well. But most inner city public school are underfunded and poorly equipped. They have large classes. That's because the wealthier white kids are down the block in private schools and their parents don't vote to expand the school budget.
It's all complicated. It all goes in circles. It's difficult to sort out cause or effect.
Then he asked me why these kids end up in gangs and sell drugs to their neighbors and ruin their own neighborhood.
They like to be in groups, I said. Most of us do.
Those are the wrong groups, he said. And he left to join his friends for dinner at the country club where he paid $100,000 to join. It's good for business to be a member.
I told him to hire someone with an accent. Isn't that what "job creators" do?
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