mixed about children

I've been seeing and hearing about all the new children being born through IVF. I have known some great examples of families who couldn't have children who have found a way, with a boost from science, to be able to achieve the world's most gratifying experience of having a needy, time-consuming, resource draining, emotion sucking creature wander your home for twenty years. Few people who ever had one would actually trade them in, despite frequent threats.

But I am also disturbed by what I have read and what I have seen first hand. That is that couples in their late thirties or forties, who have struggled for year to have a child, who then take all kind of drugs, and sometimes purchase eggs. This process often leads to multiple births. Multiple birth children are usually underweight and often premature. This makes them very high risk for all kinds complications.

Families now come to me and my colleagues with twins or triplets, one or two of whom have special needs ranging from learning disabilities to large developmental disorders. All of these kids need and deserve love and delicate handling. The truth is that this kind of attention is very expensive for towns and schools. It is also very draining on the parents and the extended family. It often totally rules the life of the family and community for many years.

It is a very complex situation, and I don't want to seem mean or an ogre for implying that some people shouldn't have children, but it also seems very selfish to go to these extreme measures to satisfy a need when there can be so many severe consequences that are ignored. Any couple who has two, three or four successfully implanted embryos should really think about what they are really getting themselves and their communities into, and not just he miracle of life. Medicine now has ways to keep children alive, even when their lives are very limited and their future holds no prospect of improvement, and without extraordinary measures they would not survive the first two months. This takes millions of dollars and thousands of hours.

Any doctor or clinic that only talks about how successful their birth-rate is, while not clearly delineating the dangers and realistic expectations should be taken out of business.