Sunday, July 01, 2007

Shoot and Ladders

It's the week of the 4th of July. Summer is here . Off we go to the beach. Sit with a few friends, watch the waves roll in, the sun smiling up in the clear blue summer sky, little children frolic in the waves. What could be more idyllic?

I had left the message on my voicemail that I was away but I didn't tell the service because I would take emergencies. I had told L that I was gone and she could leave as many voicemails as she wished (someone moved her cheese -- she actually said that).

The cell-phone goes off. It's my answering service who tells me that Janice from DSS called. She had been called in to check on a woman I have been seeing for three years. The woman, Lisa, began working with me to regain custody of her son from her mother. In order to do that she had to prove to DSS that she had stopped drinking and had remained sober . We went through all kinds of contortions to get her sober, then keep her sober and to impress the child welfare people that she was sober and now attentive and competent.

It had been good to work with Lisa, I have mentioned her here before (on March 14). She had not only dealt with alcohol, but depression, anxiety, OCD and major, major self-deprecation. But we had been doing well.

About a month ago she passed out and was brought to the hospital for a night. She said she had been suffering with a stomach flu, hadn't eaten for two days and took all her medication at once. I believed that.

A week ago Lisa had been doing so well that she told me that she was preparing to break-up with her long time ( seven-year ) boyfriend. He was just about the only person, other than her ten year-old son, whom she spoke with. He was very supportive to her, even financially. The problem was that he was married and she was now convinced that he would never leave his wife. She told me she was feeling strong enough to to want a man of her own, and probably another child. That seemed like progress to me.

But the call from Janice at DSS told me something else. Janice, who had also worked with Lisa, liked her and believed in her, told me that Lisa had been picked up by an ambulance and brought to the hospital again. She had passed on it a park. Her blood-alcohol was .4. That's almost fatal.

I don't know if Lisa drank because she broke-up with her boyfriend, or she broke-up because she wanted to drink. But now, when I get back from a week at the beach, we will have to begin all over. Three years of work, good work, pretty much wiped out.

Two the the three years were pretty good years for her. That counts for something, but for many people life is a game of shoots and ladders. Lise just landed on that long slide to the bottom.

3 comments:

Jamie said...

@It would be hard in your profession not to become defeated, because anytime you work with humans, you are going to be dissapointed. I don't think you have lost this battle yet, either. One step forward and two back. Eventually, the two of you will win. :)

Patty said...

My heart goes out to both you and Lisa. Bless you for being.

Anonymous said...

hi - i thought you might be interested to read an article from a recent new yorker about milton bradley and the history of board games. it turns out that chutes and ladders was originally an updated version of an even older board game called 'the meaning of life' in which players rolled dice and wound their way through life subjected to all sorts of ups and downs. the 'point' of that game was very much in line with the 'point' you were making with the title of your post. i have uploaded the article here:
http://upload2.net/page/download/doDJPZ2p7eEqVTm/meaning+of+life.lepore.htm.html

thanks for blog and for your work.