Today is Monday, and somehow on Monday I see some of the most difficult, most chronic people that I have to deal with.
I have been practicing in this city for twenty-seven years. I began here the month after John Lennon was killed, so it's easy to remember.
In a practice like this each year I see between 150 or 175 different clients. Usually, about 50 to 60 get carried over to the next year. After 27 years I have learned that the average length of time that anyone spends in treatment with me is bi-modal. It is either six months or eighteen months.
But every year I get one or two people whose lives, or whose minds, are a mess. They stick around for a while. After a while they begin to accumulate.
Today it seemed like everyone I saw was someone I had seen forever, and that I would see until the day I died. But that isn't true.
I checked my records and found that of the 66 people I have seen this year 17 of them I have seen for five years or longer. That is 1/4 of all the folks I see. By the end of the year I will have about 100 people will have finished therapy. But not these folks.
I checked further and noticed that five of those 17 people account for 58% of the phone calls I get.
They are troubled, in constant crisis, some are more than a bit narcissistic, need guidance, reassurance, attention, and seem to have some sense that having a therapist means having a super-mother with a huge breast.
It is these people that have driven some of my colleagues out of business.
I try to set limits. They now know that just because the leave four messages doesn't mean they will get a return call. Life goes on.
3 comments:
Why don't you make e-mail available to them? I have found that this is very helpful in letting those attention-seekers feel some sort of connection to me. Like you, I have about 10 to 12clients who have a constant need for attention. Two that barely get out the door in the morning on MONDAY and are calling me in the afternoon. What I have done is open my e-mail to them. I will not respond to their e-mails, but I will print them. If it's something significant, then we will discuss it at the next session. Thus far, it has cut down on phone calls by 70% or more while still bringing that connection to them so they don't feel the anxiety in needing to hear me tell them everything will be all right.
Reminds me of that old 20/80 rule. I like Denises' email idea.
If I had a super-mother, I would surely want her to have two huge breasts.
That anonymous. One funny guy!
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