back at it

After nearly three months I returned to my cozy corner office and sat mostly in the same chair and saw people I had not seen all summer, and one whom I had not seen for ten years.

I spent the whole day there, just one day, but it was certainly enough immerse me over my head in the reality of what goes on this side of the bridge.

I had spent the summer near the beach, watching and swimming as the tides rolled in and out.  Back in my office, by eleven o'clock, after just three hours, I had a much more intense feeling of what it is like to fight against the tide.

None of the people I saw were crazy.  None of them even had bad judgment, even though it could be said they made mistakes, most of their bad behaviors were the consequence of having only bad options available.

By eleven o'clock I had heard what had happened over the interim to realize that not everyone's summer was as blissful as mine.  People suffered with losses of love, money and health. There were  financial losses which were made worse by vindictive family conflicts over the scraps that were left.  These losses were due to illnesses, business decisions made in distant countries, and deceit.

In addition, people talked about the death and dying of close friends and family members. Now there is often a new layer of troubles, which has become more common over the past five years. It is the return of adult children to their parents' home. Often these children, ranging in age from twenty-five to forty, return after a divorce, and bring a child or two with them.  In some cases it is only the grandchild who is now part of the home, as that child's father or mother is lost somewhere out there, due to some addiction, or just total defeat.

Unemployment is down, but the jobs many people have now pay less, have no permanence, and can be very stressful.

Yet, almost all of the people I met with were resilient. With a little support they seem to find a way to carry-on. In the darkness there is a lot o dark humor.  Speaking of her sixteen year-old daughter one woman said:"She broke my heart and went to live with her father.  I was pleased to see how she ripped his heart out and stomped on it, but now she has come back to me."

 My role is to help them sort through options and anticipate consequences, even when the options are few.  My hope is to give them hope that there is some reward for just continuing the process.  That's what we all do anyway.

What adds to the sadness is how little trust there is now in so many of the institutions that we used to rely on to stabilize our world. To a large extent our government is a mess, our religions are being used as often to create conflict as they are to offer comfort, so many businesses seem to be slightly sleazy if not outright corrupt, and the way forward seems very uncertain.

But individually, each person is genuine, sincere, kind and caring, to the best of their abilities, under the circumstances. They attempt to ride over each wave looking for moments of peace and happiness.

The contradictions are everywhere.  The tide comes in, the tide goes out.