A while ago, March 5 to be exact, I talked about I.Q. This question came up again with my last posting. Some people are smarter than others. The people I talked about last time were on the low end.
I am a psychologist but I am not a fan of I.Q. tests. Part of me strongly believes that a large part of what I.Q. measures is how much someone has learned how to "get with the program." by that I mean how much have they learned to know and say what is expected of them by the powers than run our society -- our government, school, churches, courts. If you are smart you learn to follow the rules.
But, we know, often the rules suck. The rules are there to help those with power to keep it. If you follow the rules there is a better chance that you will get to join them. Not a really good chance, if you are an outsider, but a better chance.
If you oppose the rules you will not get a good job, get thrown in jail, have your hands cut off, or be labeled as nuts. This is not new to our society, societies have always run this way.
If you are really, really good at opposing the rules, and you are charismatic and good at marketing yourself, and if you focus on a widely agreed upon injustice, you can really change the world and be an historic figure: Ghandi,Jesus, Martin Luther, Martin Luther King, Nelson Mandela, the Franklin, Washington Jefferson group,and Curt Flood are all good examples.
I don't believe in the bell-curve of intelligence. I believe in a flat line with a tiny blip down and a tiny blip up. One percent of the population may have a remarkable talent in something. One percent are congenitally mentally handicapped. (These are not exact). But most people have plastic brains that can be shaped at an early ago to relax, solve problems and have fun; or to be tense, full of doubt and feel miserable.
I would rather work with someone who over-intellectualizes and needs to be taught how to feel than someone who stares at me and answers with one syllable and expects me to tell them how to run their lives. I know therapists who are great at that. I'm not.
4 comments:
I'd rather work with such a therapist too but, from what I've read/heard so far, they are almost as rare as dodo birds. ;)
And around here even bad therapists have a waiting list that's a mile long.
Found some very comprehensive DYI-articles on CBT though. Very helpful, if one actually follows the directions.
damn it, i want all my therapy money back. every one i've gone to has sat there, nodded at me, made monosyllabic responses, looked ponderous, etc. well...except for the one who told me that the root of all my issues was a need for Christ in my life. every bit of progress i've made as far as avoiding the mistakes of my family, dealing with my moods and impulses, and fixing my poisonous internal assumptions about the world has come from my own study and from surrounding myself with people who make me want to be a better person, instead of doing what Mom did and surrounding myself with people who clearly had *zero* right to judge in any way. i can't think of a single time that i ever got anything out of therapy, besides all of my other bills getting behind as my bank account dwindled. i know there are therapists like you out there, but how come they're never the ones i find? argh. the ones i find always seem to be in worse mental shape than i am. i have a friend (well, i use the term friend loosely here, as i have distanced myself a lot) who is a psychologist, works with the criminally insane. in his 30's he still engages in cutting behavior when he gets stressed. he's oblivious enough to say things like "maybe you could have your kids make valentines for the patients at my hospital." and not see why it's a bad idea for little girls to make valentines for rapists and pedophiles. and he's helping others, ostensibly. thank the powers that most of his patients are never, EVER getting outside of hospital walls again.
i've read that a lot of therapists choose their professions as a way to figure themselves out. in my experience, i've run into a LOT of those folks. i know there are good ones out there. but how can there continue to be so many screwed up ones? how do they manage to stay in business? i don't get it.
Wow. I must've hit the jackpot when it comes to therapists. I developed full relationships with all the therapists I've ever had. I quit going to each one only because one of us moved.
You sound like a keeper, too. Keep up the good work. There are some of us out there who appreciate a good therapist.
Gosh, I imagine it would be hard to help someone who basically doesn't communicate. I have a hard time doing that in my own little circle. Really your job, IMHO, it to be a catalyst or guide in helping one to help themselves & not them being a catalyst for you to help them.
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