It's been a while since I've written about L. She has not gotten better. The kind of thoughts that rush through her head have only revved themselves up and increased, one on top of the other. She went from people noticing her, to people talking about her, to people following her, to people coming into her house. Then she thought people were tampering with her clothes, with her food or her jewelery.
Then she got into this shoe thing where no shoes fit right. She thought that after she bought shoes, people came into her house and switched them with shoes of the same size and style, but just slightly larger or smaller on one foot. She began ordering from various shoe factories, but she thought they were all involved in screwing up her feet. She called the police. She began calling several times a day. She does this now several times a day. They tell her to call her psychologist.
Then she began talking about the cameras in her house and the microphones. They didn't bother her. She thought that all her movements are being put on YouTube and that she is a star.
But now she is crying that she is never left alone. She is threatening her neighbors because they won't tell her who is coming into her house. She tells me that she can't take it and she is thinking of suicide.
It is finally enough to get her into a hospital, fill her full of Zyprexa and take all of her star power away.
Where is the line between being an eccentric pest and being a danger?
4 comments:
This story makes me think of "requiem for a dream" that I watched last night. The causes are obviously very different because "Ma" gets into this extreme paranoia because of the pills the doctor gives her. How difficult it must be to live with that!! Sending L. plenty of good wishes
I am hoping for the best for L, as well. What you describe sounds terribly, terribly lonely and scary.
Maybe "L" just needs a couple of friends in life.
i feel bad for her. yeah, it *is* kind of conceited to consider yourself so important that people would spend this amount of time working at bugging you. but it's got to be miserable having these thoughts constantly in your head, feeling so real, all the time.
of course, once she's out of the hospital, there's a good chance that she'll experiment with stopping her meds over and over, as most do. it's hard to accept that your own mind can't be trusted.
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