P is now 47. When she was young her mother would hit her with an extension-chord, especially when P would ask her why "that man" was in the house again. The beatings ended when P broke her mother's ribs.
That start led P into a rough life of drinking, fighting and bad relationships. She is understandably quick to anger and can have volatile mood swings. If you piss her off, you know it.
But it's been years since she has hit anyone.
Her drinking is down to two or three times a month.
She has gotten rid of the men who abuse her.
She stays away from her sister, who still drinks heavily, and her brother who is back in jail.
But all this progress has left her alone, with no idea what to do. She doesn't like anyone, and no one likes her. She feels she doesn't fit it, except at the bars, but she knows that going there only leads to trouble.
So she stays at home and listens to right-wing radio and gets angry at the "liberals" who run big-government. She has some insight into the fact that they pay for her disability income and her medical care, but that only interferes with her anger.
I am looking for a spot in the world for her. It hasn't appeared yet, but we will keep looking.
5 comments:
Wow. Thank god she has you...let us know if you find her a place. I'm sure there is one. Positive.
A fairly typical phase. It might or might not pass.
Amazing to see her progress though it seems so much would tempt her to stay back.
What about volunteering ... kids, elderly, animals, others with needs ... so long as she's ready for this kind of interaction.
Might give her an outlet to get involved without falling back into old habits.
Yes, it seems like an impossible job, helping to make people make huge mindshifts... but it does happen when you hang in there with them, which we know you will.
Keep us updated.
isn't there anything at all within herself that she likes, that tiny tiny hidden attitude/feeling/emotion/ determination/courage... that allows her to stay away from getting back to old patterns?
Wish you will both find that place with her and for her where she can rest then expand
bon courage!
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