Ring-ting-a-ling

Well it sure is holiday time. Many of my clients were out there last Friday at 5 AM ready and eager to spend money they don't have. At least no one was trampled to death in my area. That is kind of sick, don'tcha think? That shoppers have rally gotten that desperate.

This is always one of the busiest times for me. Some family gatherings are really great and nurturing and communal. Everyone gathers and buys gifts to show heir love and appreciation for each other. The warmth and love is what chases away the cold of the long winter nights. I actually see some people who have a family like that. The family has grand-parents who had eight kids and they all have kids, many of whom have kids, and they all get together for Christmas and share good tiding.

I actually have two members of that family who see me, and they give me very different views of what goes on, and who really likes whom, and what the underlying tensions and rivalries are. But at least everyone manages to pull it off for a day.

Most of my clients dread the holidays. I see about four Elanor Rigbys who will be alone unless a fourth cousin has some compassion, or the old man on the third floor invites them in. But if he serves wine they get nervous about his intentions and make sure they keep their knees tightly held together.

For many it is the guilt that brings families together. A mother can squeeze feelings of guilt an inadequacy out of a child for fifty years if she has the talent. And many do.

I also have two families in which one sister is now married to the former husband of another sister. That can make things a bit tense, unless families are rally into sharing.

So, if you have a therapist, make your appointments early. Therapy times fill up quickly around the holidays. Many of us therapists fill up many hours with appointments. It's better than being with our cousins.