Call me Crusty

That's Crusty, not Rusty or Grumpy. It's a variation on the theme.  It's an attempt at self-definition, because, as the transition continues, defining my place in the universe becomes elusive.
That's not necessarily a bad thing, but I had been so selfishly well defined for so long that it is an adjustment to be so free-floating.

Two days ago I spent the day being my old self.  I was back in my office being the good therapist. I still am a good therapist, which is still gratifying.  The people who came to see me are really pulling their lives together. Almost all of them will no longer need me, which is my goal. Sure, they would almost all continue to come, because it's always good to see a therapist. But they really can do as well without me, and I want them to realize that, and believe in their own judgement.

Even though I feel I m still good at what I used to do I no longer feel that doing that is good for me. Sitting too much is bad for my neck and my old, expanding prostate.  I also feel that there should be better ways of doing what I was doing, and I want to spend my time figuring out how that might happen.  I have some pretty clear ideas of what needs to be done and why.

But that doesn't mean that the world, or even more than seven of my colleagues will stop and listen, or really have any interest in what I have to say.  My profession, like every profession, has people who are respected and have risen to a place of authority. And, like other professions, those people are much more invested in keeping their ideas going than in exploring new ones.

Now, I have never cared much about respecting those who have become the visible leaders. There certainly are some of them who have done some great work and some very helpful thinking, and I have respect for them.  However, IMHO, most of those who are well known, are those who have the best marketing skills, or have latched on to someone who does it for them.

It is quite clear that marketing has not been my strong suit. Yes, I did what I needed to make my practice work, but after a bit of a push things ran smoothly. But beyond that I did little more than yell from the back bench.

No trumpeting Trump am I. Yet, if that kind of momentary garbage succeeds, do I want to be part of that parade. Makes me sad.  To see people so easily mislead, especially in this time when there are so many real, exciting, uplifting discoveries.

But primitive comes naturally, thought, refection, planning, walking up hill, looking for empirical evidence, takes more energy, and a bit of discipline.

So now, as I try to spread my own gospel, I have to wonder, am I just another old man screaming crazy ideas in the wilderness, or will persistence and fortitude, aided by the truth of my message eventually be persuasive.

It is the ancient therapist
   And he  stoppith one of three.....