Back to work

The summer will continue, but for now, I am returning to my office.  I did have a marvelous week at the beach house.  I did get to go to the beach with my grandgirls, although Elmo stayed at the house.  We threw rocks into the waves, we sat on the edge of the water and made splashes. I got to see my children be parents, which is kind of weird, but certainly an experience, and it made me very happy and  a little sad (becasue I don't want to be old)..

Now I am in the re-entry phase.  I picked up my messages and made several phone calls.  I have a lot of appointments this week before I get to go back to the beach.  Some of them have already canceled, others have left messages seeking an appointment and they will will the openings.

Also, I have been perusing some of the blogs of my colleagues.  Most of those are done as kind of marketing tools.  They usually try to spread some psychological wisdom around the Internet.  They give suggestions about how to be active in the summer, how to get people to listen to you, how to be more confident, how to daydream creatively, how to daydream destructively; in general how to live your life in a better, healthier way, if you have any time left after reading how to do all those things correctly.

But this blog is not like that.  As you know this is the anti-marketing blog.  This is where I tell you that I have a very busy week ahead, but there are a few people, a real minority, like 15%, that bother me, and that overshadows my thinking about the folks I am eager to see.  Most of the people I see are working hard to change their lives.  Many are struggling against "strong headwinds." as our President likes to say about the economy.

But there is this small group of patients are really nuts, and they ain't going to get much better, and they weigh me down.  They are the ones who make phone calls while I'm away.  They are bad with boundaries, they are bad with time, they make bad decisions and they don't take responsibility and have little insight, and they talk and talk and talk.

I am sure every therapist, especially if you have been in business for a while, has a bunch of these, but they don't seem to talk about them on their blogs.

So, put on a smile, as it helps your neurology, develop a positive attitude, enjoy the summer, be nice to your friends and family, eat only food that is good for you, don't go into debt, exercise regularly, sleep well, don't worry needlessly, stand-up straight, breath deeply, meditate once in a while, think before you act, and break your addictive habits.  And don't call your therapist unless you need to change your appointment time.

sloppy

We went away, the wife and I.  She said winter is coming, build your strength.  She asked my daughter where to go, the one who has been everywhere, really, everywhere.  She said, go here, it is the most beautiful, most far away, the most the way it should be place there is  ( and pretty pricey ).  So after a long week at work in which I tried to cram everyone in. I made nine phone calls in the last hour to arrange for everyone else.  I rushed home and packed.

We went, and it was.  The turquoise bays, the warm water, the sloops bobbing up and down.  This place was quiet, isolated, with nothing but water.  No TV, no music, no radio, no telephones, no golf; nothing but a perfect setting and fine food with people popping up, bringing everything, and then disappearing.

I talked to two men who live on the boats.  One brought his wife, one left his behind.  They go from island to island.  They take pictures of the sunset.  They ferry around the people who want to snorkel, or see other islands.  They have escaped from the world.

Attractive?  I didn't think I could do it, to just drift along, and let the rest of the world make idiots of themselves over taxes, entitlements and financial derivitives.

The trip home was exhausting.  I got home and received twelve messages.  Three people were yelling, two were crying. One of the yellers was from one of my patients who I had called just before I left.  She was the eighth of ten calls.  She called back screaming and swearing at me.  Apparently in my haste and exhaustion, by the time I reached my eighth phone call I was too rushed, too flip and not all that professional.  I thought I was rearranging her appointment as she had hoped, she thought I had insulted her.

She is a delicate, accomplished woman.  We had done a lot together to deal with her anxieties that came with the constant quest for achievement against belittling men in a difficult field.   Now it seems that one slightly misguided remark had huge unintended consequences.  She screamed and swore; she vowed never to talk to me again and that I shouldn't try to contact her.

Now, she did have a right to be upset; I was a bit too flip, but really, what bothered me was that after all the work we did, she was just going to scream and retreat.  If she was going to quit and leave me because I treated her badly, (which I really didn't, and certainly didn't mean to) she should have learned how to confront me, deal with it, let me acknowledge my mistake, and then either get over it and accept an apology, or walk away knowing she made a point.

But she didn't do that, so now I have to deal with it as I can, as it isn't ethical to just let her vanish without some kind of follow-up.  It will be frustrating. She was a really fascinating person to work with too, so I will miss her.

So, I went home and told my wife that if we sell the house, we could get a really nice boat, and still have enough money to wander through the islands, rum in hand, for a long time.

Except I don't know how to sale, and she doesn't do well if the water gets choppy.