Variations on the theme

Thanks to everyone who has responded to the posts about Laura. Right now she is still headed in the right direction, saying the right things. As all of you seem to know, it takes a long time.

Last week I saw Victoria (not her real name)for the second time. She is younger than Laura,just a couple of years out of college, has a pretty good job, and is a pretty confident woman. But men confuse the hell out of her.

Her own family had some difficulties, but not the overwhelming kind that I often see. He father has gone through several bouts of a real major depression when would just shut down for months. He lost jobs, stayed in bed, looked awful But he kept on trying. He would rally and be moderately OK for a couple of years before crashing again.

Victoria was very frightened by this, and by seeing all that her mother had to do to keep the family going. So now, any time a man has a problem, she is gone. But once she is gone, she feels somewhat compelled to stay friends with them, and try to fix them.

But, that's not what I want to get into here. What I want to talk about is her most recent case of jealously. Victoria kept in touch with one guy, and was helping him put up a profile on-line. She stumbled into his email account -- he said it was fine, they were friends now, there were not secrets. But then she found an email from a woman that was sent while they were still trying to be a couple.

She flipped out. got jealous, felt betrayed.

He was stunned. It was nothing. He didn't remember this woman, and anyway why put so much rage into a relationship that was already over.

She didn't know. Couldn't explain it.

To me, it's an insight into how primitive we all really are. As Willie S. said a few hundred years ago: "Hell hath no fury as a woman scorned." True it is. And doubly so for men, who set out with guns and knives when they feel betrayed.

This sex thing is pretty powerful stuff for humans. In the rest of the animal kingdom it's a pretty mixed picture. Some animals mate for life and get really depressed when the partner is gone. Other creatures seem to get it wherever they can.

Maybe with us it has to do with how much effort it takes to raise a child. Maybe it just has to do with the need to get your rocks off consistently. But it is surely there, and, as The Greeks made very clear, people are ruled by their passions. That has not changed much in 3000 years. Technology and birth-control have only made it more confusing.

I will let you know how Laura does.

I will see how Victoria does.

Somebody put holes in L's boots and the water is coming in. "Why would somebody want to do that?"