Tomorrow, in the middle of the afternoon, there is a good chance that I will fire one of my clients. Unless he agrees to work with me, and to do some work, I won't be able to see him anymore. The way things are now I will either have to scream at him, or punch him in the face.
It's not pretty when you get an old man angry.
The guy comes in almost every session, for five months, and then a break, and now for another three months, and tells me that I shouldn't lecture him because he knows what he did wrong. Then he gives he six or eight reasons, excuses really, why he couldn't do it right.
Do what right?
Get a job, keep a relationship, clean his apartments, not take money from his mother, not feel unfairly rejected by his friends, his relatives, his lawyer and his ex-boss.
His mother died when he was eleven and his father was more interested in his new girlfriend than he was in this son. That's too bad.
But now he is 53; it's time to get over it.
He got fired unfairly. That's probably true. The reasons they gave him were not good ones, but they probably couldn't stand having him around. So he got a lawyer and sued them. But the lawyer wasn't good, because the lawyer didn't call him back more than three times when he decided he was too depressed to state his case.
When I told him that wasn't the lawyer's job he got furious with me.
If he really was depressed, I could deal with it. But he just comes in and whines, and then tells me that I am not allowed to tell him he is whining.
Well, that's not therapy. Tomorrow he either agrees to set goals, take responsibility, and work towards those goals, or he can find another box of tissues.
As Dorothy Parker said when she was asked what she knew about horticulture:
"You can lead a whore to culture, but you can't make her think."
5 comments:
I have often wondered what a therapist does with what seems to be the "average" person, (at least to me), the person that wants to whine about the state of his life, but has no intent of changing it. I would think that would be so very frustrating for you. Thank you so much for allowing us a peek into your world. It is so very interesting and educational. Jamie
Good luck -- I hope you don't hear more whining/excuses after you confront him. I agree -- it's not therapy when you're not allowed to do your job.
Glad I wasn't him yesterday... :)
love that horticulture quote... damn funny woman.
I've enjoyed reading your blog but I cannot help but wonder what happened with Max.....
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