another upbeat week

Let me repeat, as I may have said it before, and that in itself is part of the problem, I mean, me saying it before, and again. And what I'm saying is, that sometimes, part of it is, that growing old kind of sucks. And I'm not even that old, or even in bad shape or anything. But there are the things you don't know, and can't even think of when you're young(er). You can't know; and you don't think you will get like this, but you will, even with super-growth-hormones.

"Old man, take a look at my life, I'm a lot like you are." I remember that song from when Mr. Young and I were both 23. Now, we are getting to be (get that,only getting to be) the old man.

But that's OK. The getting old is OK. What makes it hard is that everything just comes around again. Just when you gather up enough hope to think it's better, it gets washed away. How many times? Many.

And I feel like a sucker each time, that's what hurts more. Each time I get riled up and think maybe I, we, they, have figured out a way, to make it better and to make it last. But then it gets washed away, like the castle in the tide, and now the hard sand on the beach is all flat again.

Does it matter? Not really, to me, directly in many ways. I'm still OK, my kids are OK. I am basically healthy (but slower) solvent, no real debt. The house is warm and dry. I have more 'stuff" than I know what to do with. The internet works fine. I could spend the rest of my left playing Soduku. Who would notice? My wife doesn't really know what I do up here anyway. I gave up porn years ago when I saw what could have been one of my clients in one of those movies. Really freaked me out.

I heard an early Dylan song also. He was running down the road because someone called him a Communist. They still chase you down the road even if the think you're a Socialist.

And who get hurt? As I said not me. Yes, people get hurt, many. The same ones. The ones in the cheap houses, with no credit to get the pipes fixed when they freeze. They live on the low-lands near the river and get flooded when the snow melts and the river rises. They lose their jobs when the factories move to China. Their kids have to drop out of college because they are smart enough to get a $10,000 scholarship, but college costs $47,000. So they go back to selling Toyotas, and now even they are busted.

Or they live in Gaza city.

And so many more people are getting on the State Insurance now, just like people were afraid of. State run stuff, can't be good. And you know what? That's true too. The state pays me less and they send out new, incomprehensible rules every day.

Private insurance companies are greedy. They lie, cheat and swindle. They take your money and throw you in the gutter. Public insurance is complicated, incompetent, and inefficient. They take you taxes, put you in a dirty bed, and leave you there.

The problem is that they are both run by people. THAT's the problem.

Can't blame people though, because that's who were are: cute, lovable, well-meaning, but flawed.

Can't just sit around either. That makes me feel as if I've given up, kind of useless, old. Don't want that.

So, I guess it''s back at it. Or at least it will be on Monday.

How's that for a happy ending.