He came to see me, partly because She sent him, saying that if he didn't get help then the end of their relationship was near.
He is about 40 and has had about twenty relationships, not counting hundreds of one-night stands. But you can't believe everything he says, even He doesn't believe it. He is trying to be honest and build trust. He is sincere about that, even though he has never done it and never really experienced it. His father was basically, in clinical terms, an irresponsible drunk. His mother was chronically depressed and helpless.
According to Him, She is the model of psychological health. Yes, she left her husband of many years to be with Him, so what does that tell you? She is showing him how to be honest and attentive. (Her own mother stole her SSN and ruined her credit) She seems to want his total attention and devotion. She alerts him every time his attention wanders from her. She had decided that he has ADD, because he cannot focus on her as much as she needs.
He is trying his best to stay with her. He takes all the blame. He is in recovery from several addictions. He has learned to take the blame.
She has been in therapy. She has been a therapist. She does not blame, but She has a talent for pointing out causes and giving explanations. Her explanation is that He is the cause.
They are trying hard to make their relationship work -- or are they just trying to score points. I do not count points. I just want them to care and trust and enjoy themselves -- and then get out of my office so that I can rest.
4 comments:
People tend to attract what they think they deserve.
I seriously doubt she'll leave him. Unless he happens to get "fixed" because then she'd need another project.
I loved the part about Her not blaming, but pointing out causes. Sounds like someone I know.
Holy cow! Run!
I give them credit for trying, especially Him.
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