The week of the oil spill

Sometimes it is difficult to even know where to start. It's like getting hit with a rogue wave, knocked down, rolled over, washed out, pushed back and left dazed and confused on a beach six miles away. "What the fuck just happen?"

This week was like that. Maybe because it's May. May is always a volatile month. The sap rises, gets in the brain, thinking goes haywire.

There were so many stunning incidents that it would take pages and pages to describe them all in the complex context that wold give them justice.

Couple #1. After waiting ten ears for him to clean up his act so they could be together. They unite as a loving ecstatic couple,spend three years building a life, learning to trust, and then she cheats on him with a high-powered business colleague. Comes home, cries, asks for forgiveness.

Couple #2. Six months ago, when they were, again, both very drunk, her got into a jealous rage and beat her badly. He went to jail. She got sober and started her new life. She realized he was a liar, a manipulator, and an addict. Without him she was relaxed, competent and sober. I knew what had happened (as I am sure you have also) when she missed her appointment last week. Today her friend called to see if I could get her committed because she was back with him, getting drunk and beaten.

Couple #3. Last year she came to see me to deal with the grief over her son who had killed himself. This year her brother, who had been a nasty drunk for years came to live with her for three months while he went through the dying process. He died last month. Today she called to tell me that the tests on her husband showed that he has lung cancer and it is also in his liver.

Couple #4. They are getting divorced, for many very valid reasons. But he still misses her. He is basically a hapless, inept kind of shelp, but he wasn't going to be passive this time. So he got drunk and tried to come and see her. When the door didn't open he pushed out the air-conditioner and jumped into the living room. But it was the wrong apartment so now he's in jail.

Alice, on crutches, has a spasm, fell down and smashed her good knee and now can't walk at all.

Bruce, just getting somewhat free of panic attacks, took a walk to get outside on the beautiful spring day, see the sun and be happy. He took a deep breath, filled up with pollen, couldn't breathe, vomited, almost fainted, had a panic attack, won't leave the house again.

Carla, who is nuts, just plain nuts, in many different annoying ways, and has been for years, is in trouble with the court for being stupid and annoying. She wants to get a psychological evaluation to prove that she is not nuts. I won't do that for her because: 1. I am her therapist (for the little good does that does for either of us). 2. because I don't want to show her that she is nuts, and 3. I don't do evaluations. So she has been calling every psychologist in the county and explaining, her own unique way, what she wants them to do. Then she leaves them my phone # to arrange the appointment as if I am running a concierge service. I have already received six very confused calls.

Of course there is more, but that is the general flavor of how the week has gone. The question is not Why is this happening? I actually can give very reasoned, precise explanations for all of this. The question is not even, What should I do about this? There are several things I can see I need to do in order to begin to repair the damage.

But really, it's just like the oil spill. It comes from not having a safety valve. It gets into everything. It is so hard to clean up, the effects will linger for years.

It can take 125 years for 500 artisans and craftsman to build a cathedral.

One person can blow it up in thirty seconds.

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