An Almost Civil Disagreement

Max and I disagree.

But we are civil enough to at least attempt to discuss our differences.  We both admit that neither of us should expect to sway the other one at all.  We also will try to present our ideas in terms that could possibly be consistent with the other person’s values.  But really, since we certainly don’t share values, we have a tough time understanding why the other person is such a moron, especially when the truth is so obvious.

However, to begin with, we actually both agree.  We agree that our great country, the land of the free and home of the brave; home of the creative, the entrepreneurial; beacon of hope to the world, with a government of the people, by the people and for the people, — is a mess, and headed in the wrong direction.  We also agree that part of the problem is how terribly divided the population is, and that this division has become more hostile and disrespectful. 

We disagree about America’s priorities, more specifically about what to do about taxes, health care, big government, wages, education, race relations, immigration, refugees, war, weapons, guns, banks, the Fed, welfare, climate control, energy policy, Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton, All of the Bushes, Israel, Muslims, Christians, Jews, China, the Middle East, the whole defense budget, cities, suburbs, sex, the electoral college, the right to vote, abortion, transgendered people, soda and salt, and many, many other ways in which people care, govern and relate to each other.

We have some overlap in our ideas about Russia, job training, Ben Carson and gay people.

If you want to know more specifically what his positions are, then watch Fox News and read the Wall Street Journal.  He has those positions down pat, almost word for word. My ideas, which I like to think are the result of hours of thought and refection, after reading many sources, are actually close to what you get from the New York Times and NPR.

Not surprisingly, Max was raised in a rich semi-rural suburb in Virginia.  I was born in Brooklyn, NYC.  Really, that’s all you need to know.

Here are some of my generalizations of where we disagree.  If you want to read what Max  thinks, then you can go find his web page. He believes that people should be self-reliant.

Max believes in good and evil.

I believe in cause and effect.

Max believes that the most basic American freedom is the opportunity to make as much money as you can, and that the government should stop messing around with that.

I believe that America’s greatness comes from how it guarantees freedom of speech and thought. The government is there to protect us all equally from being exploited, intimidated or harmed by anyone. I also believe that the government should do whatever it can to help all of us improve our lives, liberty and pursuit of happiness.

Max says he believes that all people are created equal and are free to do whatever they want with their lives.

I believe that the rich and powerful have always, always, exploited those who are poorer and weaker, and that they very rarely give up their advantages without a struggle, often with violence, but not always.

Although he hides behind euphemisms, Max believes that some people, mostly those like him, are intrinsically worth more than others, due to their native endowments.

I believe that we are all equal in our insignificance.

Max believes that men and women are equal, but also that they are basically different, and they should both keep to what they are best at doing.

I believe that is bullshit, sexist and exploitive.

I believe in science, and in using data to see what is going on and to help make the best decisions.

Max feels that science can be confusing and can be used to prove anything, and that good, common sense is enough to decide what should be done.

I believe that due to rapid advances in science and technology, shifts in population dynamics, and climate change, this country is going through a major transition, and once all of those things are recognized and accepted, and we learn how to integrate all of these new things into how we live and work together, our country will be much better and stronger.

Max agrees with all of that except that last three words.  He would substitute weaker and worse.

I think we both would like to find some common ground, but we don’t know where.

We have tried talking.  We have even tried listening.  But we both have very strong core beliefs that we can’t give up. It makes compromise difficult.

Old White Man

For various reasons I had a sessions this week with two brothers and a sister.  They were in their late forties and they compared their impressions about what it was like growing up in their family.

But now their father, who was a distant father but a very successful businessman, is eighty-eight. He has been a widower for a long time, and now he is home, by himself, and moves with great difficulty.  His children, mostly his daughter, come to see him four or five times a week to bring him food and cook for him.

He is not very sociable, because is usually tired, and they often find him asleep in his chair.

His daughter explained that this is true because every night he sits up in the chair, facing the door, trying to stay awake.  He holds a 35 caliber pistol on his lap and waits for "them" to come and try to take away his.........well, that's not quite clear.

One of his son's says that the gun doesn't have a bullet in the chamber and the old man doesn't have the strength in his hands to pull the lever and get his weapon ready.  But it's the thought that counts.

What the NRA mean

I think i am paraphrasing here, but this is the jist of what the NRA said today:

The nice old guy

in the blue uniform

with the gun in his holster

making $8 an hour

in the school entry way

will be honored as a hero

after the first bullets from the high-velocity automatic weapon

pass through him.

And then we will have the funerals for the rest of the children.

Terrible, terrible, terrible

Anyone who knows or ever knew a six-year old has to be totally stunned and heart-broken at what happened on Friday. It is one of the scariest and most meaningless kind of acts that anyone can commit.

The U.S. is faced with another awful, expensive dilemma, as another part of our infrastructure is found to be neglected, underfunded, and ignored, and that again, it is revealed what happens when a problem is left to grow instead of being solved.

The first problem, and one I admit I have an interest in, is the huge amount of mental and emotional difficulties that are not dealt with.  There is a growing number of kids who are on the autism spectrum and/or have really difficult behavior problems.  These kids either don't get help and end up in jail, or they bounce from school to agencies, to probation to special schools, and if they are getting the treatment they need, and some do, it is very expensive.

Could this kid have been found and his behavior averted if there were more services available?  Perhaps.  That is very difficult to know. It is certainly worth the effort.  I think some of my patients could have gone that way, perhaps, but they got at least some attention.

And the other part is guns, especially automatic weapons, that can shoot dozens of rounds very quickly.  I have asked on some of the web sites I visit on which there are some gun advocates, for an explanation of why American citizens need to be armed.  I have not yet received an answer that I really understand.  I do not expect it to be rational, as perhaps my abhorrence of the availability to such weapons may not be rational, but I would like to understand the thinking, or the feeling.

Yes, gang member have guns, and drug dealers have guns, and so do legitimate hunters and backwoods men.  But we don't live in the 1820s any more.  We live in a time when all of our lives are greatly intertwined.  There are many more restrictions we have to live under if we are to have a society that functions.

But I really believe that there are many people out there who believe that the Muslim in the White House is about to declare Sharia Law, and that if we are not armed out women will be taken away. I guess tehy feel that if it can happen in Egypt, it can happen here.