I am closing my practice, basically. Tomorrow I go and pack some boxes. Next week i head to the water's edge. It will be my job to make sure the tide comes in on time.
My mind is just beginning to take a different shape. Sometimes I wonder if I will ever stop thinking about the work I have been doing for the past forty-two years. Sometimes I wonder if two months from now, I will think about it at all.
Briefly, and I am sure I will elaborate upon this many times, one of the things I have learned is that we are all a product of our genetic make-up, mixed with all of our experiences. We are shaped by those things to the degree that we can never easily become something else. The forces that have shaped each of us, individually, are so strong and pervasive that we don't even realize what they are. They are so much a part of who we have become..
Try these:
You like watching sports, or playing sports, or you really think it's a total waste of time.
You think Obamacare is ruining America.
You think people who think that are morons and bigots.
You love to watch The Bachlerette.
Why would anyone ever watch that show?
There is no moral justification for a woman to get an abortion.
Why should a woman be forced to radically change her life just because she had sex and got pregnant?
Or maybe you don't think about abortion much, and really don't want to bother now.
and even this one:
Jihadists are all crazy. How can anyone ever get so co-opted.
The infidels, with their new ideas, have insulted God, and they must learn to respect God and his laws or the whole world will suffer.
These are just a very few of the ideas about which many people tend to disagree, vehemently. Yet, I have learned from dealing directly with all sorts of people, that very few of the folks who feel any way about any of those topics are truly evil people. Yes, there exits a small percentage of narcissists and sociopaths, but those are really very few.
The overwhelming majority of people are convinced that the world is the way they experienced it. They have learned, mostly from their family and community, to think and believe as they do. They have learned that it seems right to be religious, or not religious. There are Capitalists and their are Socialists, and there are a lot of people who don't know the difference, or really care.
There are people who believe all kinds of "crazy ideas." Many of them think that what I think is crazy ( including this). They will continue to stick with their ideas and values, especially if doing some gives them some measure of belongingness, happiness and comfort.
So what?
So, my advice is this: try to spend some time with people who are different from you. You don't have to agree with them, but you have to respect what they think and do. Try to discover what forces made them this way. Try to understand.
If you do this you will really learn how the world works. You may learn something about how to make it better --- if you can decide what "better" is.
From my many years as a clinician I know this is true. Can I do it? Do I really live this way?
Of course not.
Although I rarely show it, I have very little patience for those who disagree with me.
I think they're idiots.
But now, I think I'll try; hopefully, sometime soon.
Showing posts with label ideas. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ideas. Show all posts
Monday, June 16, 2014
Monday, October 17, 2011
More examples
The economic conditions have caused a lot of stress, anxiety, depression, feelings of helplessness, worthlessness, inadequacy and anger. These things are pretty obvious, but they are very detrimental to individuals and families.
As I said yesterday, my practice in this industrial city, is an indication of what is going on in the country. Five years ago I had several cases of couples coming in big SUVs, they were having alcohol and recreational drug problems, and sneaking off with their friends' husbands and wives. Several of the women were even flaunting their newer, bigger breasts. It was all with money they took got from remortgaging their homes.
Now, several of them are back, having lost the home, and at least one of the jobs. The crash has been devastating. They feel cheated, as they were only doing what the world was telling them to do, which was to pump up the economy.
Of the couples who have come back, most of them have figured out a way to stop blaming each other and pull together. That is good to see. It can really be a step-up, away from the foolishness and craziness. People are finally learning that having credit is not the same as having money. If the pain and suffering last a year or two I am sure the lesson will really sink in. If they manage to get a new job within about six months they may think they are brilliant and can get away with anything. Very few people really learn to plan, I think we are still short-term hunters and have to eat as much meat as we can before it rots.
There are many other ways that this economy is making people suffer, especially people in their early twenties, who have student loans and $12 jobs. They are lost and know they can't afford a marriage and a family. They drink beer and watch movies at home.
It seems as if the answer will have to come from local communities. People will have to learn to think small, not look to big government or big corporations who will not hire. They will have to find ways to trade with each other, build a community that keeps services and money flowing amongst themselves.
I see some signs of it among people who have lost jobs more than a year ago and realize they have to figure something out for themselves, something different. They now have cleaning businesses, repair businesses, cooking businesses, very basic stuff.
The older workers, from their mid-fifties up, make these kinds of transitions with a lot more difficulty. They do not welcome the challenge of starting over. They feel they have already deal with enough challenges.
But this is America in the New Millennium. We have been trained not to care.
As I said yesterday, my practice in this industrial city, is an indication of what is going on in the country. Five years ago I had several cases of couples coming in big SUVs, they were having alcohol and recreational drug problems, and sneaking off with their friends' husbands and wives. Several of the women were even flaunting their newer, bigger breasts. It was all with money they took got from remortgaging their homes.
Now, several of them are back, having lost the home, and at least one of the jobs. The crash has been devastating. They feel cheated, as they were only doing what the world was telling them to do, which was to pump up the economy.
Of the couples who have come back, most of them have figured out a way to stop blaming each other and pull together. That is good to see. It can really be a step-up, away from the foolishness and craziness. People are finally learning that having credit is not the same as having money. If the pain and suffering last a year or two I am sure the lesson will really sink in. If they manage to get a new job within about six months they may think they are brilliant and can get away with anything. Very few people really learn to plan, I think we are still short-term hunters and have to eat as much meat as we can before it rots.
There are many other ways that this economy is making people suffer, especially people in their early twenties, who have student loans and $12 jobs. They are lost and know they can't afford a marriage and a family. They drink beer and watch movies at home.
It seems as if the answer will have to come from local communities. People will have to learn to think small, not look to big government or big corporations who will not hire. They will have to find ways to trade with each other, build a community that keeps services and money flowing amongst themselves.
I see some signs of it among people who have lost jobs more than a year ago and realize they have to figure something out for themselves, something different. They now have cleaning businesses, repair businesses, cooking businesses, very basic stuff.
The older workers, from their mid-fifties up, make these kinds of transitions with a lot more difficulty. They do not welcome the challenge of starting over. They feel they have already deal with enough challenges.
But this is America in the New Millennium. We have been trained not to care.
Thursday, August 18, 2011
But, I thought .. never mind
I read in the NYT that big ideas are dead; no one thinks that way anymore. I guess there is no app for that. Naked celebrities getting divorced get more attention than the idea that there may be universes beyond our universe.
Jarod Lanier, who is a bit weird but seems to know things about the Internet, has noted that we are now constantly being flooded with new information. So many of my friends, relatives and even patients are constantly checking their mobile devices for news, texts, emails, Facebook updates, Tweets......
It has become annoying to be with them, because they are not with me. They are waiting for the word to come through the air, to tell them what to do next, what to think about, who to be.
It has become very difficult to pull all this information together in order to reach any kind of a well considered, thoughtful opinion because every second there is new information, and you may have to revise what you believe.
The stock market is up, and you're rich, an hour later it's down and you're poor .. because someone thinks that Ireland or Greece may have a bad quarter. The river is polluted, an asteriod may be coming, it is 106 degrees, there is a tornado in Des Plaines, Michelle Bachmann is gay, another bombing in Iraq, the Red Sox won, now they lost, unemployment is up Obama will lose, now it's down and he is OK, The Tea Party are idiots, nope, now they are morons, racists and homophobes. A kid was kidnapped, a kid drowned, a kid got sick and died, another kid fell off his bike. Does that mean I have to put a GPS and a helmet on my grandchild to keep her safe?
Too late for that -- parents are too hovering, nope they are too lax, nope they are putting too much pressure on their kids. You can't eat sugar or fats, nope artificial sweeteners are worse, corn syrup is even worse, sugar is good, eggs are bad, eaggs are good again, bacon is bad, bacon is good, tofu is tasteless.
We're all gonna die someday, might as well smoke, drink and screw. Everything in moderation, but you only live once and can't take it with you.
The proof is in the pudding. It's in his kiss. I can see it in his eyes.
"Everybody knows the dice are loaded
everybody rolls with their fingers crossed
everybody knows the war is over
everybody knows the good guys lost
everybody knows the fight was fixed
the poor stay poor, the rich get rich
that's how it goes,
Everybody knows "
L.C. (1988)
Jarod Lanier, who is a bit weird but seems to know things about the Internet, has noted that we are now constantly being flooded with new information. So many of my friends, relatives and even patients are constantly checking their mobile devices for news, texts, emails, Facebook updates, Tweets......
It has become annoying to be with them, because they are not with me. They are waiting for the word to come through the air, to tell them what to do next, what to think about, who to be.
It has become very difficult to pull all this information together in order to reach any kind of a well considered, thoughtful opinion because every second there is new information, and you may have to revise what you believe.
The stock market is up, and you're rich, an hour later it's down and you're poor .. because someone thinks that Ireland or Greece may have a bad quarter. The river is polluted, an asteriod may be coming, it is 106 degrees, there is a tornado in Des Plaines, Michelle Bachmann is gay, another bombing in Iraq, the Red Sox won, now they lost, unemployment is up Obama will lose, now it's down and he is OK, The Tea Party are idiots, nope, now they are morons, racists and homophobes. A kid was kidnapped, a kid drowned, a kid got sick and died, another kid fell off his bike. Does that mean I have to put a GPS and a helmet on my grandchild to keep her safe?
Too late for that -- parents are too hovering, nope they are too lax, nope they are putting too much pressure on their kids. You can't eat sugar or fats, nope artificial sweeteners are worse, corn syrup is even worse, sugar is good, eggs are bad, eaggs are good again, bacon is bad, bacon is good, tofu is tasteless.
We're all gonna die someday, might as well smoke, drink and screw. Everything in moderation, but you only live once and can't take it with you.
The proof is in the pudding. It's in his kiss. I can see it in his eyes.
"Everybody knows the dice are loaded
everybody rolls with their fingers crossed
everybody knows the war is over
everybody knows the good guys lost
everybody knows the fight was fixed
the poor stay poor, the rich get rich
that's how it goes,
Everybody knows "
L.C. (1988)
Thursday, August 11, 2011
beach thinking
It's beautiful on the beach. The sun gets low late in the afternoon, the waves come in, the breeze is gentle. A two-year old runs in and out of the water for an hour, giggling all the time.
I read my magazine. I realize that I am either brilliant or trite, and I can't figure out which. Many of the ideas in the magazine, quoting, of all people, Francis Fukuyama, are things I have written about here.
The reviewer of Fukuyama's new book, Mark Kingwell, who trashes on it, states that politics is largely the push and pull between personal desire and collective action, which is certainly what we are seeing, in it's extreme form, now.
There is also a discussion of "human nature" which includes this idea : "given the perfidy and at best thevery local, short-term rationality of humans, it can be no surprise that we often contrive to create systems that fail everybody and yet remain in place for many decades, if not centuries, until war, invasion, or Maltusian population crisis consigns them too the history book."
YES!
I would like to expand on how I agree with these ideas, and give examples from my practice and my life, that this is the way it is, but we have guests here at the beach, and right now I am helping a good friend go through the matches she has received from some dating web site.
Talk about short-term foolishness as a long-shot stab and long-term pay-off, this is it.
I read my magazine. I realize that I am either brilliant or trite, and I can't figure out which. Many of the ideas in the magazine, quoting, of all people, Francis Fukuyama, are things I have written about here.
The reviewer of Fukuyama's new book, Mark Kingwell, who trashes on it, states that politics is largely the push and pull between personal desire and collective action, which is certainly what we are seeing, in it's extreme form, now.
There is also a discussion of "human nature" which includes this idea : "given the perfidy and at best thevery local, short-term rationality of humans, it can be no surprise that we often contrive to create systems that fail everybody and yet remain in place for many decades, if not centuries, until war, invasion, or Maltusian population crisis consigns them too the history book."
YES!
I would like to expand on how I agree with these ideas, and give examples from my practice and my life, that this is the way it is, but we have guests here at the beach, and right now I am helping a good friend go through the matches she has received from some dating web site.
Talk about short-term foolishness as a long-shot stab and long-term pay-off, this is it.
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