Quick Fix

I am away from my office for a few weeks, wandering around near the water, doing a pretty good job of not thinking about those I left behind.

Down here I get to talk to friends, and friends of friends, and just see what they do and hear about what they think.  I don't have to do anything about it, which makes life much easier.

But what I hear can be pretty distressing, and that is, even more than before, people are going for the quick fix.  Psychotherapy seems to have lost some of its panache; it takes too long, it costs too much,  and it can be painful to think about the bad things, or to confront difficult problems.  These days it is much easier to find a life coach, a motivational speaker, a spiritual healing, an body-mind energy consultant, a brain-ionizer, a vitiman dispenser, or just a guru to show you the path.

Now, the quick fix has always had allure, for centuries.  But many years ago the fix seemed to be more through suffering, sacrifice and prayer.  Today it seems to be through self-indulgence, self-appreciation, fulfillment and money.  And who can say no to that.

The trouble is, of course, that the quick fix rarely works.  What these kinds of fixers seem to miss is that they are fighting against all of a person's biological history, genetics, family history, interpersonal history, cultural and sub-cultural patterns, and financial resources.

Usually the effects of a weekend pep-talk and a few exercises feels really good, and lasts for anywhere from three hours to three weeks, sometimes a couple of months.  But almost always, those entrenched thought and behavioral patterns creep back in and take over.

However, the bigger problem is, that psychotherapy also, often takes a great deal of time, and still isn't that effective.  That process too has to fight against all of a person's biological history, genetics, family history, interpersonal history, cultural and sub-cultural patterns, and financial resources. Some of these we can confront and work through, others, such as genetics, social class, finances and sub-culture, are often cannot be influenced by verbal interactions that happen in an office for an hour 9 now 45 minutes according to most insurance companies), a week.

There are things that I would strongly recommend that a coach can be necessary;

-- Sports

-- Financial planning

But, with both of those, be careful, find someone with a successful history, the longer the better, and make sure that what they said they did really happpened.

Another not surprise

Americans it seems, more than those in any other country, like to avoid responsibility and also to seek a quick fix.

That's why it came as no surprise to anyone who has been in practice for more than ten years, to learn that the diagnosis of ADHD, is not as real or as widespread as it has become, and the the treatment of it, whatever it is, with stimulant medication is not effective.

In truth, a lot of what is called ADD, or ADHD, is the result of a chaotic environment, not enough consistent discipline, and certainly a lack of having learned self-discipline.

Now I don't want to run around pointing fingers and yelling "bad parent" at anyone who has been told their kid has ADD.  In truth, some teachers tried to pin that on my own son when he was ten, and the description may have even fit me for a couple of years when I was a kid.

The reason for the increase in the diagnoses was two-fold:

1. the increase in the complexity of life.  Parents now are often both working, everyone is scurrying around.  Schools are more high paced, stimulation comes from everywhere and very rapidly.  Kids hardly have time to take a break and just have random, unplanned, un-educational fun, which is the kind that really leads to the most learning.  It is very difficult for young boys to sit still and focus for more than half an hour.  Most of them just are not built that way.

2.  The drug industry found a drug that works.  They failed to point out that the drug is a stimulant (speed) and that it helps everyone focus, from seven year-olds to eight-seven year-olds.  They also did not report the studies that show the effectiveness wears off over time, and that their are often side-effects, such as headaches, sleeplessness and stunted growth.

But, once again, there was money to be made.  And the drugs do make a difference, for a while.  But they don't really help anyone learn, and they seem to hinder people learning how to learn, or learning to control themselves.

There have been so many times when I have had a parent tell me that their son won't do his homework, but  if he is interested in something: science, football, skateboarding, girls; then he will learn all he can about it.  That is NOT a symptom of ADD.  It shows that the kid is motivated to do what he feels is relevant.

Many psychologists have made a living on testing and diagnosing brain pathologies, and ADD is right up there.  But everyone has a brain, and every brain is slightly different.  Still, we can all learn to do what we need to do.  We are all good at finding ways at doing what we want to do, under pressure we can do what is necessary, unless we give ourselves an excuse.

It is also interesting to note that something like 94% of people taking medicine for ADD are in the U.S. of A.   Is it something in the soil?

Well, I guess you can't blame your brain any more if you work is late and you watched re-runs of Cheers instead of getting it finished.  You might have to tell everyone, including yourself, that you just didn't want to do it.