See, especially in a small city, shit like this happens. I don't think I am over analyzing things; I think this is what it is:
About six years ago I began to see this woman, let's call her Sue. She was going through something at the time. It was her husband. He told her he was gay and he left for another guy. She was pretty upset at the time. That's understandable. We worked on that for almost a year, and then she got it together and went off.
Since then, I would see her when something came up. When she had doubts about a new job, or a new man, or when her mother died, I would see her. It came to about four times a year. I think I was helpful. She used the time well.
Fine.
Then this last time,yesterday, she came in and after a while she got a bit upset with me (can you imagine!). She said that I wasn't helping, that I was telling her stuff she knew, and that my approach was too negative.
Yeah, so, that's what I do. What am I supposed to do, juggle? I only do that for eight year-olds.
Anyway, I maneuver my way around that, acknowledging that I make mistakes, and we go on to explore other things.
Then I begin to realize what she is really angry at me about. You see, she kinda liked this guy. She wasn't sure she liked him, but she liked that he liked her. He was giving her attention, and that was good.
But then, since she was keeping him as "just a friend," he began to tell her about another woman he was becoming interested in. Soon that other woman was all he was talking about. My client was not pleased with this kind of attention.
So, your are thinking, what's the point here?
Well, it turns out the woman this guy was so distracted by was Eve, the very same woman I had written about back on 3/14 in a post called "Rocks." It turns out that this guy was Carl.
Now Carl tells Sue all about Eve, and mentions several times that Eve is my client and that I am trying to help her. But Eve continues to bounce around with her life. Carl continues to be very distracted and very involved in trying to save Eve, and not paying attention to Sue. I think that now, Sue is upset with me for not getting Eve all settled and out of the picture. I also don't think Sue likes being associated with all of the chaos and goings on that Eve creates.
That's why, at least a good part of why, I think Sue is upset with me. But I'm not sure that I know how to tell her that, or if I will get the chance for a while. By then Eve will probably have been married and divorced.
5 comments:
Sue hon, I don't know how to tell you this...but you're nuts. What else do you call a woman who gets worked up soooo much over a guy, whom she claims to keep around as "just a friend."
okaaay. you are a therapist. and you happen to have found yourself in the middle of three patients; how?
hmmmm. let me see if i can try and view this from the "other side" for you. how's that? seeing as i have been on "the other side" of the desk for many many years.
alright. one guy. two gals. he liked gal 1. gal 1 played hard to get. he moved on to gal 2. gal 2 didn't play hard to get. gal 1 blames YOU. gal 1 needs some meds, and perhaps a new therapist.
it seems to me, that she has somehow confused her relationship with you and beleives that it is your responsibility to fix her problems...rather than help her learn how to fix them herself.
and, now that "sue", or gal 1.. apparently has this resentment, apparently undeserved, on your part, you are going to remain unable to take this therapy to any other level with this woman.
one, or both of you have made the relationship between the two of you even if a littl... something more than therapist/client. something more personal is there. some other level of trust or dependancy.
gal 2 and the fuy.. they'll do what they're gonna do regardless of what yOU say to any of them. besides that... YOU giving patients.. THREE patients?? relationship advice... could be disastrous for your career.
refer gal 1 to a diferent therapist...and let everybody else move on in life.
so. how's that for a mental cracker? not too shabby eh?
anyhow...good luck in whatever you choose to do.
Oohhh Therapist....you do a job I could NEVER do. You seem to be such a patient, kind man ---- that would have to be be the only thing that keeps you from choking some of them. BTW-I want to see your juggling act!
my head is spinning...
"rocks" was funny!
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