I worry, but...

I go back to work now, and only work three days.  It's very strange.  I am trying to adjust but it is difficult.  I take Monday and Friday off, so if the warm weather ever comes I will have long weekends to make sure the tide comes in.  But on Mondays I still feel guilty.  I wonder who gave me permission to stay home.

But work is easy.  Three days is nothing.  I could probably see a hundred people in three days, but I stop at 27.  That's enough.  Then I begin to get tired.  But, by them, I'm done.  I have a long weekend!.. It's a vacation!

I've been seeing a lot of people in their late 20s and early thirties, and I worry about them.  The ones that reach me, here in this struggling old mill city and struggling themselves.  Most of them are either still taking courses to finish college, have finished after five to ten years, or have dropped out.  They have jobs they don't like, and make enough to pay the rent if they live together.  They don't really make enough to get married and have a family.

They come from families that fell apart in their youth.  They have fathers they rarely see. Their mothers have had several relationships that seem to last three to eight years, but are destined to end badly, or to just fade away.  Many of those who I see really don't know how to expect something better.

Today's economic situation does not help. High paying jobs are scare and need specialized training.

So many of my clients, who are now 28 to 42, still live the life of a 23 year-old.  They drink too much.  They roll in and out of bed with friends and neighbors they hardly know. They rack up credit card debt that may or may not get paid in their lifetimes.

I see about five or six people like this now.  Each of them seems to have six to ten friends who are really worse off then they are, but are too scared to come to treatment.  Most of the ones that come to see me do so because they really want to do something about it.  And most of them do.  They slowly grow up, and do the difficult and/or boring things that growing up requires.

But it sounds like many, many of their friends don't.  They continue to drink too much, to give-up on themselves, to let life just drift by.

I worry about them.  There are many, many, of them who take too many drugs, still play too many video games, and skip work at Target or the supermarket or the call center, where they get paid $8.50 an hour.

But. in truth, although it seems as if our society is terrible, mean and demeaning, it has always been this way.  In fact, it is probably better now.

Things were worse fifty years ago, much worse a hundred years ago, and inconceivably bad before that.  But then, many people just got sick and died, and that was the way it was.

Now, with health care, machines,  and the marvelous new technology, there is not only the expectation, but also the capability of finding ways for so many more people to live decently, and become  comfortable and productive.

But, really, there is not the general will to care about too many people, especially if it may make you, me, or anyone, a bit more uncomfortable.

This is not new.  It seems to be part of who we are.