Basics 2

I don't mean to get too pedantic here but...

If there are three basic things that our evolutionary history requires us to do: protect, nourish and procreate, then, as we all know, much of our difficulties come when these things get out of balance, or are taken to an extreme.

If you over do the protection part you can become paranoid, Like L, who is having trouble finding shoes that are not switched after she buys them. Or you can go around punching people who appear to be threats, or you can classify threats as anyone who does not look, or think the way you do.

All this makes for trouble.

You can get messed up on the nourishing part, as many in this country obviously have. We have many people who, given our land of plenty, can't stop eating. We have many who over-control what they eat. We get the anorexics, or the binge and purgers, who suffer greatly from an imbalance of nourishment. Related to these are the hoarders who can't let anything go, the collectors and the acquirers.

Also, this country has become obsessed with money. Money represents security and the ability to find what you need, so that mostly, you won't be hungry. But we have quite lost our way here. Money has become the score-card by which people judge their success. How much can you get? I doesn't really matter how you get it. How much can you spend? Even how much can you give away?

Certainly, ours is not the first society to lose its way over " stuff." But we are certainly doing it up big. And, judging from the trends I see in my practice, there are many people who need to keep up with "stuff" so they have a huge amount of debt, and soon they may be hungry.

The procreation part is the one that most often brings people into my office. And, from reading many of the blogs out there, and many that link to those who have read this one, it is clear that the search love, lust, attachment and intimacy are the major causes of heartbreak, depression, anxiety and self-doubt.

Looking for love in all the wrong places. Holding on when love is gone. Trying again after your nose has been broken, after all the dishes are broken, after the kids are terrified. Not because you think you should, but for the deeper unconscious longing to find enough love to make a family and keep the species going.

Feeling safe, feeling secure, and feeling loved, are really all everyone looks for. But we all feel threatened in some, or all of those areas, and most of the pathology out there is a feverish, well-meaning attempt to put everything back into place.

The solution of course, goes back to Aristotle (and is also the favorite quote of my wife) "Everything in moderation."

Including, obviously, moderation itself.