I don't see that many kids any more. I am seeing only three now who are under 12. I see a fair amount of surly adolescents, but they at least have the potential of being verbal.
Kids are a lot of work. It's not them. The actual time seeing them is fun. I get to play games and fool around. I get the kid to smile and regard me as some goofy adult. That helps him (mostly boys) relax and begin to open up.
But the kid usually isn't the problem, he is just dealing with something over his head. Sure, these days he comes in with a label - ADHD is still popular, but it's always more complicated than that. The kid never knows what the problem is, and he never wants to talk about it, and he doesn't even know how to talk about it.
Sometimes the kid is upset with the divorce, sometimes it's that the uncle died, or the father is in Iraq, or the mother is in the hospital. Those you can work through, with the help of the family.
It's when the family can't help, when they are too scattered, too angry, too overwhelmed, sick or dead, that the problems with the kid become very difficult to resolve. Then I have to try to teach parenting, get other relatives involved, talk to the school, set up after school activities, and be the father for the next six years.
Too much work.
So, if you can't take care of your kids, try not to have them.
I know, the skills needed to make a baby is very different from the skills set for raising a child, but that's not my fault.
5 comments:
People often ask me why I only have one child.
I'd love to answer, "Because God didn't want to give me more than I can handle." ;)
Back in 1966 my parents died five months apart. I was eight years old, and was so traumatized that to this day I have no memories from before that time.
Back in the day, one didn't go to a therapist to handle things (at least not where I came from), but first to an orphanage and then to an abusive foster home.
Once I became an adult, it was up to me to go back and fix that hurt little kid and it took me years (I am still a work in progress if truth be told)to do so.
I, for one, am glad for any difference any person can make in a child's life.
Thank you for what you do to help the children.
Once again---can I get an AMEN? You go, Therapist!
o_0
...Patty pretty much nailed it for me (fixing the hurt kid, even though she's an adult now)qbqvz. Tx for the relevant post, Therapist
Amen, Indeed!
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