Tuesday, November 20, 2007

a call

Sitting, schlumped over, mumbling, barely audible one word responses. Not going to school, cutting classes, smoking dope, acting like they don't care, no confidence, ruining any shot at an immediate future.

Now, they bring them to me. Now that they are sixteen or seventeen. Their father's either see them once a month or degrade them constantly. Their mothers work to provide and try to add structure and guidance. In return the mother's get the anger and the passive aggression. The boys are angry because the family is gone, the money is tight, everyone is stressed and little is fun.

So, we start over. First we twist off the head. (Pop) Then we inject a little humor, a little irreverence, just for surprise. Two doses of understanding and sympathy, but make sure it isn't overdone. Then slowly, slowly, poor in some higher expectations, allow a little slippage but keep pushing along.

The process takes about two to four years.

I got a call this week from Florida. He was a kid like this fifteen years ago. Basically a seventeen year-old drunk. He left a message saying he was doing very well. He had been happily married for two years (his second try) but he now understood what it was all about.

That was nice. It's good when that happens.

3 comments:

Jamie said...

How wonderful when you get to hear the good, I expect you get good results and people always THINK that you literally saved them, but very few take the time to actually let you know. So I congratulate you. That must be a wonderful feeling. :)

Lena said...

It is good to know that the seeds you worked so hard to plant have taken hold! And the icing on the cake is that he lets you know about it. It must make it worth it all.

Patty said...

You touch on lots of emotions in your posts, but for whatever reason this one is the first to bring tears to my eyes.

"He gets it." So now he can give it to others. What a blessed gift you gave him Therapist.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart, for plugging away and making a positive difference in our world.