The Second One

My son, my second born, is in the hospital right now, sitting next to his beautiful wife, waiting for her to bring forth his first born. They are going through what seems to be the commonplace medical machinations in order to induce the kid to come see the world.  That is what my daughter went through ten months ago, and that is what happened twice to my wife, as both my kids were plucked out, rather than delivered.

So far, the first grandchild has been an overwhelming success.  She is happy, curious, expressive, and she loves her Grand-Pops.  Whenever she sees me coming she swerves around, looks at me and then gives me one of those wide, three-tooth smiles of welcome that make all the world worth surviving. I take those smiles very personally and I don't want to know if she treats anyone else as well. She looks at me, flaps her arms and raises her hands. My daughter was very similar and joyous at that age, although not as big.

So now a new one will enter our life-space very shortly.  I was very hyped- while my daughter was giving birth.  She was there with her husband and we all were trying to have Thanksgiving dinner.  My mind was waiting to see who it would be, and also very focused on how my daughter was doing.

This time it's similar and different.  I cannot know how my daughter felt, but I think I know exactly how my son is feeling, thinking and acting.  Everything is almost exactly the same, except for text messaging.  I can feel the excitement, confusion, anticipation, responsibility and joy that he is feeling. We have about a 57% overlap in personality, so I have a pretty clear idea.

I was 33 when I had him, and he is 32 now. the world is different but having a kid is very much the same.  Is this a good time to be bringing a kid into the world?  Who knows?  Right now it seems like it could be better, or it could be worse.  It is certainly better than being born in 1911, or 1930, or 1937.

I was born in 1945, and that turned out to be a pretty good stretch of time, but who could have predicted that.  My son was born in 1979, which is proving to be better than 1989, but a lot can still happen.

Having a kid, if you think about it, is always a leap of faith and a vote of confidence.  Of course, a lot of people don't think about it, and many of those kids end up in my office.

As a grandparent I see the sweep of time, the possibilites and the difficulties so much differently than I did as a parent.  Being a parent is day to day, often hour to hour, especially in the beginning.  As a grandparent it is the joy of a couple of hours, but also the awareness of the coming decades.  What can be, what needs to happen, and what are the few little nudges I can add along the way to make things easier, happier and turn out right ( the way I think they should).  These kidsare my legacy; things should not be left to chance.

But right now. the only concern is for the next two or three days and that he or she is healthy and robust.  If that comes to pass, then being brilliant, creative, beautiful, caring, intuitive, a good dancer and a skilled point guard will all happen in time.

Right now we just wait for the next text message.