Another Year is Coming!

Another year is coming. not much we can do about it , except stop marking time.  Time, in many ways, is a concept invented by fairly modern men.  I say men because when they started marking time I don't think women had much influence, but I can't be sure. Some wife in ancient Babylonia may have told her husband not to come home late.  He might have answered, "Late?  I don't know what you're talking about.  I'll get home when I get home.  That's what happens."  But they didn't have Apple watches then, which do tell the time somehow, and also show the text message from your wife reminding you, and the  pop-up screen that tells you when to leave and what the traffic is on the way home, as well as the weather, and emails from work that tell you what you have to do when you get home -- so that being home with your wife won't be the same as she hoped it would be.

Others, like some physicists I know, explain that time is not invented, it is the fourth dimension, and it has existed as long as our universe has existed, and it may or may not have existed before that.  In our universe, the physical laws insist that time can only move in one direction, so that if you get home late, then you can't rearrange things and get home early. But that may be possible to do under the laws of a different universe.  There may, or may not be an infinite number of different universes (multiverses). One of the laws of our universe is that we can't get to another universe, not even using Star Wars warp-speed.  But if there is a unipole -- which allows for an opening into another universe, you may be the one to be drawn into it.  However, if that happens no one knows if you will be able, or if you will even want to come back.

Most of us just go along counting time in the usual way: seconds, minutes, hours, days, months, and then years.  A year signifies, roughly, the time it takes for the earth to take a trip around the sun.  We go through all the seasons, those of us who still live in places where there are seasons. So marking the end of the year, after 365 days -- 366 next year, is an occasion for a moment or two of reflection, and to regain the hope that the world will be better and that we each will use this demarcation in time to reprioritize our own lives so that we may live happier, healthier, more creatively and do things that make us pleased to be who we are.

So here is my brief list of New Year's resolution Do and Don't:

1.  lose weight -- if you've already tried to do this, and if you were not too successful, then don't bother.  The odds of any individual losing weight and keeping it off are very against you.  There are so many reasons, from genetic to physical to psychological that make it very difficult.

2. Exercise -- this one is a bit more achievable.  Anyone can get up from where they sit and walk around the block, go up and down a flight or two of stairs, do some push-ups, or strike some ago poses.  Exercise, moderate to vigorous, is good for your body and brain. There is a line, especially at my age, when instead of building up muscles, heart and lung capacity, I find it hurts and I get injured. Pain is a good indication of when what you're doing is wrong.

Have joined gyms in the past, not now.  To me they are boring.  The only good part is I got to listen to music, but it takes so much time to get there, change, shower and go home.  It's easier to walk around the block. I know a lot of people who have always exercised either through some activity they enjoyed or sports.  There are just as many who find that regular exercise is unpleasant and boring. It seems that the ones who like doing it, do it.  The others don't.  Changing from being one of those to the other is very difficult.

3, Mindfulness -- Boy is that the thing, isn't it.  Seems like a good idea, but I'm not sure if it is another health fad, or has real benefits that last.  They say it can clear your brain if you get good.  It's difficult to learn how to do it right if you're pretty anxious to begin with, and those are the people who it's supposed to help the most.  Try it if you wish.  There are many sites that will teach you how.  Be suspicious of the ones that try to sell you stuff.

4.  Blogging.  I'm going to blog on this site twice a week next year.  I now have the time to do it, and I find what I have to say quite fascinating.  I also want to see if I have the discipline and capacity to follow through.    I don't think I'd be a high pick on a fantasy-bloggin site.  We shall see.

But do this for me.  Try to enjoy yourself, in both ways that are important.  Way #1 is to have fun: laugh, be with people you like, do things that are easy and interesting, whatever it is for you -  movies, sports, kids, music, sex, staring out the window, hiding in the closet, tickling a three year-old.
Way #2:  Do something that brings satisfaction, that feeling of doing something for others, doing something that was difficult, figuring something out that was useful, fixing something that was broken, or creating something new that serves a purpose.  If you do #2, you will enjoy doing #1 much more.

2016 -- Wow -- Who Know!

Denial?

As I said a couple of posts ago, I am beginning the transition.  I am morphing from who I was and what I have been doing for the last forty years into whatever it is that comes next. It is an interesting time. I left work today(Thursday) in the middle of the afternoon.  Some young guy (62) now comes in and takes over my office.  I walked out into the parking lot and there were still cars in it.  I drove home and my wife was still on the phone, working.

If I haven't said it yet, I want to make it clear that I realize that I am very fortunate, and that I can do this out of choice.  I am getting older, but except for the reality that I can no longer run very fast, play basketball with people who are thirty years-old, and that I have much more trouble remembering names that I rarely use, I am in good shape.  I am nicked and bruised and sore in spots, but I am healthy. My skin is saggy and my legs are bowed, but I am fine.

I  also have enough money to be able to survive quite well. I am not buying a yacht, but I could buy a small boat and I am happy with my kayak. I am in a good relationship with someone who is certainly still interesting, to say the least.  Also, and very important, my two children are grown, all solidly self-supporting, both married and also in good relationships, and they now have their own children who are, so far, healthy, enthusiastic little bundles of joy and enthusiasm, when they're not fussy.  And all of these people live within twenty minutes of me.

So, with the fundamentals, things couldn't be better.

Given that, I am still trying to sort out what I want to do, what I can do, and what is important to do with the time that should be available since I won't be spending thirty-five hours doing clinical work and another ten to twenty hours doing the shit work I have to do to get paid, write letters, file reports, make phone calls...... all the stuff that goes with trying to be professional and get paid.

Well, the first thing I learned upon not working as much and getting older is it seems that unless I make a concerted effort to do other things, life will be spent doing things to stay alive. That includes more of what we used to call "daily life skills" in our evaluations.  Who knew they could take so long.  Dressing, cleaning, flossing, shopping, cooking, loading the dishwasher, emptying the dishwasher, reading the paper, checking on-line to see if what the paper said was accurate.

The next big thing, is getting the exercise that I haven't gotten since i played basketball. Go to a gym in the middle of the morning and who is there, women with rich husbands and old people.

Then there is the big one, going to some kind of doctor. My wife, unfortunately, has a complex medical condition, so she goes to the doctor more than she ever did.  I went with her last time, and just going to the big medical complex can ruin any positive outlook.  We are near Boston.  We really have the best medical care in the world. The best doctors, the best hospitals, the best research.  But who is there: old, sick people.  People shuffling along, people on walkers, people looking sunken in and ashen.

Most of these people are my age, some are younger, some are older, but everyone knows this is the next step, and the step after this is worse.

That's where denial comes in. Foe me it seems best to just keep going and ignore all you can. My shoulder hurts a little, so I don't throw any down-field blocks.  My knees can give me trouble so I don't jump, and if I do I try not to land.  My tooth got chipped, so I'm getting that fixed but it still bothers me. Still -- just keep going.

I know that I have ideas of good and semi-important things I want to do, but I don't have to do any of them.  No one has called up (or sent a text) asking me when I will be finished.  I realize that what I really need to do is relax, play and have fun. But exactly how to do that is still a bit vague.  I don't think I can go out into the street and find six friends and play Ring-a-levio, like I did sixty years ago.  I don't my wife will call me in when it gets dark.

For years it was a lot of fun just to rest and relax after a week of hard work.  Right now, in the afternoon, when I am accustomed to still having five hours of work ahead of me, I'm not that tired. So having fun means...I'm still not sure....and it feels kind of weird.  Not bad exactly, certainly less stressful, but still weird.

It's a pity the grand-girls don't live here so I would have someone to dance with. I'm sure they would lend me a tutu.