It seems that, among others, we have a "Right-Wing-Radio-Republican" in our midst. There are hordes of people who have been out there for over twenty years now who have decided that the best way to enter into a political discussion is to scream, slander, debase, and just throw all kinds of hyperbolic charges at the opposition. It's the "all Democrats are dangerous," and "Liberalism is a disease" type of argument that only leads to greater divisions in the country. Everyone says they are against it untle they realize that it takes only 270 electoral votes to win.
But, as we can see from the last two Presidential elections, it works. Perhaps a lie is still a lie no matter how many times you say it, but then how many people still believe that Saddam Hussein had anything to do with 911?
Now we have McCain leading the cheers for Ms. Palin, as if she has become the next American Idol. Her qualifications seem about the same, cute, popular, and can give a good scripted come-back. Ms. Palin may be strong enough to be Vice-President, but she seems to be a kept hot-house flower who is not allowed to speak for herself without a card to read.
Once again, it's great theater. How many times can we run the 9/11 movie?
Obama must be amazed that McCain can flip from being the "experience" guy to being the "new change guy" just because he says so. Who has time to really see if it means anything when you really are worrying about making the next mortgage payment?
Oh, and on health-care. That's the field I work in. Everyday I see how intrusive, wasteful, inefficient, insensitive and expensive our "free-market" system is. It is designed to make people money (even me) much more than to keep people healthy.
Monday, September 08, 2008
Saturday, September 06, 2008
discussion?
Well, we are beginning to get some reactions here. I can't quite call it a discussion when some of the folks seem pretty much off the wall. That often seems to be the way political discussions go these days. I don't know where the raping and killing part comes in. Are people really still that afraid of Black people?
Amanda -- please register and vote, even if it means using a couple of stamps. If I knew where you were I'd forward some to you.
One thing the Republicans are very skilled at is creating symbols. They have been running on the same issues for decades, but they really don't talk about issues. They get people to feel for patriotism, safety and loyalty -- and even when what they actually do is really harmful to the nation they still are able to get people to feel that it is more American somehow, to be that way.
McCain is now running ads that trash his own policies and his own party, and then he blames it on Obama. If McCain wins the only thing that is going to change is the face of the man in the White House, but he poses as St. Patrick, and about to drive all the snakes away.
I really do think that Obama wants to create more of a caring society atmosphere in this country than anything we have seen since FDR. McCain is a true believer in American Individualism -- which ends up beong every person for himself, which then results in those who have more power and influence taking advantage of that and depriving others of their opportunities. Something like good health care really takes the kind of cooperation that this country has not been good at.
Amanda -- please register and vote, even if it means using a couple of stamps. If I knew where you were I'd forward some to you.
One thing the Republicans are very skilled at is creating symbols. They have been running on the same issues for decades, but they really don't talk about issues. They get people to feel for patriotism, safety and loyalty -- and even when what they actually do is really harmful to the nation they still are able to get people to feel that it is more American somehow, to be that way.
McCain is now running ads that trash his own policies and his own party, and then he blames it on Obama. If McCain wins the only thing that is going to change is the face of the man in the White House, but he poses as St. Patrick, and about to drive all the snakes away.
I really do think that Obama wants to create more of a caring society atmosphere in this country than anything we have seen since FDR. McCain is a true believer in American Individualism -- which ends up beong every person for himself, which then results in those who have more power and influence taking advantage of that and depriving others of their opportunities. Something like good health care really takes the kind of cooperation that this country has not been good at.
Tuesday, September 02, 2008
Reactions to the Republicans
The Republicans are meeting now and I am watching it on TV.
I have two immediate reactions. NOTE: I am very biased.
1. The Republicans seem to glorify war. The short movie about the Navy Seal who died was moving, and really tragic. This really gallant young man died in a war that didn't need to be fought. He saved his comrades while fighting people who really offered no threat to this county. No one mentions that. The Republican honor soldiers as if they are fighting for the Republican Party, which, sadly, in some ways they were.
2. The Republican convention is always full of white people. This time they can't even find a few Black faces to put the cameras on. This time the convention is not only all white people, it is all old white people, probably all rich old white people. anyone from outside the country who looks in must feel that the USA is a homogeneous nation of war loving white people.
A large part of it is.
And, as Joe Lieberman says, John McCain is not your average Republican. That is true. He is much more often irrational, impulsive, and a man more comfortable in the world of forty years ago.
Just my thoughts. Feel free to react.
I have two immediate reactions. NOTE: I am very biased.
1. The Republicans seem to glorify war. The short movie about the Navy Seal who died was moving, and really tragic. This really gallant young man died in a war that didn't need to be fought. He saved his comrades while fighting people who really offered no threat to this county. No one mentions that. The Republican honor soldiers as if they are fighting for the Republican Party, which, sadly, in some ways they were.
2. The Republican convention is always full of white people. This time they can't even find a few Black faces to put the cameras on. This time the convention is not only all white people, it is all old white people, probably all rich old white people. anyone from outside the country who looks in must feel that the USA is a homogeneous nation of war loving white people.
A large part of it is.
And, as Joe Lieberman says, John McCain is not your average Republican. That is true. He is much more often irrational, impulsive, and a man more comfortable in the world of forty years ago.
Just my thoughts. Feel free to react.
Juno in Juneaux?
I'm sure I'm not the first to make that bad pun, but I guess it has to be said. Of course, the daughter of the VP nominee is keeping her child, not looking for a more adult home like the kid in the movie. That's fine with me. I can certainly respect that decision.
What I am having a great deal of difficulty accepting is John McCain's decision. I think that Mrs. Palin and her entire family seem like a fine, likable, fun bunch of people. They read the Bible and they like to hunt, fish, drink and screw. There is nothing at all wrong with that.
BUT, it doesn't qualify her to be Vice-President of the United States! I have many friends who like to hunt, fish, drink and screw. I like them a lot and we have some really good times, but I'm not voting for them.
She basically may be very smart and a quick-study, but she has NO real experience running things. She has just taken an interest in foreign police in 2007 when her kid went off to war. Comparing her lack of experience to Obama's is like comparing someone in their first month of Single A ball to the Major League Rookie of the Year. They are several leagues apart.
Being a devout Christian does not count as a qualification, especially when you really have not managed to stick closely to those beliefs. Yes, we are all fallen, especially me, but that doesn't qualify me to be a heart-beat away from taking over if the oldest candidate ever skips three heart-beats in a row.
I don't blame her at all. She is probably a great woman, but I think it certainly shows how impulsive and manipulative John McCain can be, and I can't trust someone like that to run the country.
But, he doesn't want to fix health care, or make mortgage companies accountable, or relieve the middle class tax burden, and he does want to spend billions more on wars, and on looking for oil -- and she wants to keep drilling for oil everywhere too, that's one things she knows about. If that's your idea of change, then it's clear why they need to bring God into the picture.
Love,
Tx
What I am having a great deal of difficulty accepting is John McCain's decision. I think that Mrs. Palin and her entire family seem like a fine, likable, fun bunch of people. They read the Bible and they like to hunt, fish, drink and screw. There is nothing at all wrong with that.
BUT, it doesn't qualify her to be Vice-President of the United States! I have many friends who like to hunt, fish, drink and screw. I like them a lot and we have some really good times, but I'm not voting for them.
She basically may be very smart and a quick-study, but she has NO real experience running things. She has just taken an interest in foreign police in 2007 when her kid went off to war. Comparing her lack of experience to Obama's is like comparing someone in their first month of Single A ball to the Major League Rookie of the Year. They are several leagues apart.
Being a devout Christian does not count as a qualification, especially when you really have not managed to stick closely to those beliefs. Yes, we are all fallen, especially me, but that doesn't qualify me to be a heart-beat away from taking over if the oldest candidate ever skips three heart-beats in a row.
I don't blame her at all. She is probably a great woman, but I think it certainly shows how impulsive and manipulative John McCain can be, and I can't trust someone like that to run the country.
But, he doesn't want to fix health care, or make mortgage companies accountable, or relieve the middle class tax burden, and he does want to spend billions more on wars, and on looking for oil -- and she wants to keep drilling for oil everywhere too, that's one things she knows about. If that's your idea of change, then it's clear why they need to bring God into the picture.
Love,
Tx
Sunday, August 31, 2008
What is important
Well you guys are correct. The goodness of life lies in the details, especially in the friends and family.
But, there is also the importance of pushing for your beliefs and causes, and that is what I will be doing over the next few weeks.
I feel that this country is at a very crucial, historic and vital crossroads. This election could be more important that any election since 1860. The two candidates hold very different views of how our government should work, what our country's role in the world should be, and what the basic values of this country will be.
While I do not feel that Mr. Obama is the great savior, I do feel that his message and the direction he wants to lead us in is so much more positive and helpful that Mr. McCain.
I know there are thousands of political blogs, and I will be writing about politics more than usual, but I will also be visiting many of the other blogs out there and hoping to draw people into a discussion about what kind of country they want to live in.
I am doing this for my own mental health, for my children's future, in order to help my clients find easier ways to have health care, get an education and stay out of debt.
This is important. Maybe we can all work together to get it done.
But, there is also the importance of pushing for your beliefs and causes, and that is what I will be doing over the next few weeks.
I feel that this country is at a very crucial, historic and vital crossroads. This election could be more important that any election since 1860. The two candidates hold very different views of how our government should work, what our country's role in the world should be, and what the basic values of this country will be.
While I do not feel that Mr. Obama is the great savior, I do feel that his message and the direction he wants to lead us in is so much more positive and helpful that Mr. McCain.
I know there are thousands of political blogs, and I will be writing about politics more than usual, but I will also be visiting many of the other blogs out there and hoping to draw people into a discussion about what kind of country they want to live in.
I am doing this for my own mental health, for my children's future, in order to help my clients find easier ways to have health care, get an education and stay out of debt.
This is important. Maybe we can all work together to get it done.
Friday, August 29, 2008
Sarah Palin
Although I am neither a woman nor and African American I sent the following letter off to The Globe today.
When Thurgood Marshall died and left the vacancy on the Supreme
Court President G. H. W. Bush must have felt the pressure to fill the
chair with an African American. He did so by finding a man who was
certainly an African American but not one who would bring the
perspective of that segment of our society on to the court. Quite the
opposite, he has shown himself to be opposed to many of positions of
most African Americans on many significant issues. But, even at his
nomination hearings Judge Thomas felt he was being attacked because he
was Black.
Now, John McCain has selected a woman as his running mate. And
yes, she is undeniably a true woman, and she certainly does represent a
portion of the population of women. But her views do not represent
those who have fought for decades for women's rights, for equality, for
power, and respect. She is a conservative Christian who is
anti-abortion, anti-gay, and whose major qualification to be
vice=president is that, as a woman, she can somewhat look like Hillary.
This seems to be a cynical and manipulative choice., and an attack on
feminist women the way Clarence Thomas has been an anathema to African
Americans.
OR, stated more simply:
Clarence Thomas is to Thurgood Marshall
as
Sarah Polin is to Hillary Clinton
When Thurgood Marshall died and left the vacancy on the Supreme
Court President G. H. W. Bush must have felt the pressure to fill the
chair with an African American. He did so by finding a man who was
certainly an African American but not one who would bring the
perspective of that segment of our society on to the court. Quite the
opposite, he has shown himself to be opposed to many of positions of
most African Americans on many significant issues. But, even at his
nomination hearings Judge Thomas felt he was being attacked because he
was Black.
Now, John McCain has selected a woman as his running mate. And
yes, she is undeniably a true woman, and she certainly does represent a
portion of the population of women. But her views do not represent
those who have fought for decades for women's rights, for equality, for
power, and respect. She is a conservative Christian who is
anti-abortion, anti-gay, and whose major qualification to be
vice=president is that, as a woman, she can somewhat look like Hillary.
This seems to be a cynical and manipulative choice., and an attack on
feminist women the way Clarence Thomas has been an anathema to African
Americans.
OR, stated more simply:
Clarence Thomas is to Thurgood Marshall
as
Sarah Polin is to Hillary Clinton
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Re-emerging
Now the summer is beginning to fade. I have been away from everything for a while. We have been wandering around down here,taking time off. It was something I needed to do more than I realized. The last few months, with the back pain, with other vague but unrealized health worries, had put the focus on me much more than ever before.
With that comes the awareness that at my age sickness can lead to crumbling, can lead to being wiped off this planet. Isaac Hayes was just slightly older than me. Gene Upshaw was my age, so were abut twenty per-cent of the people on the obituary pages. It all kind of spooked me out. Me who is supposed to be so full of perspective and so calming.
I spent so much time thinking about thinking that it all kind of got to be a bit too much. I couldn't think about it any more. Who I was, what I was doing, what I want to be, how I want to spend the rest of my time, what is really important to me, all these things kept swirling through my head burning a deep hole but leaving no answers.
So we came down here, as we do every year. I thought I could use the time to get away, and maybe I could figure things out. Maybe something clear would emerge.
So far I've spent time hanging out with friends and doing things that take up time. Even golf. It's been very beautiful. The weather, the sea, the rolling green, the blue sky, the golden sun. The time has been easy, fun and even sociable.
Yet, there remains the vague feeling of something not yet accomplished. I have not yet mastered the art of just taking care of myself. Making deals and keeping myself entertained somehow just never seems to be enough. I'm not sure why.
Must be something my mother did or said. Maybe it was my father.
Still, I'm not sure what it is that I am expecting.
So today, after almost two weeks away, I am beginning to schedule appointments for next week. For the first time is six weeks I don't feel afraid of it. I am even just beginning to look forward to seeing everyone -- well almost everyone -- again.
Yet, I have decided that I need to re-allocate my time, find out what is missing, and what it is I expect to do, not just return to what has always been done and keep the ball rolling down the same familiar hill.
As I have said here many times, change is difficult. Even for me. Hopefully, this blog will help hold me accountable.
With that comes the awareness that at my age sickness can lead to crumbling, can lead to being wiped off this planet. Isaac Hayes was just slightly older than me. Gene Upshaw was my age, so were abut twenty per-cent of the people on the obituary pages. It all kind of spooked me out. Me who is supposed to be so full of perspective and so calming.
I spent so much time thinking about thinking that it all kind of got to be a bit too much. I couldn't think about it any more. Who I was, what I was doing, what I want to be, how I want to spend the rest of my time, what is really important to me, all these things kept swirling through my head burning a deep hole but leaving no answers.
So we came down here, as we do every year. I thought I could use the time to get away, and maybe I could figure things out. Maybe something clear would emerge.
So far I've spent time hanging out with friends and doing things that take up time. Even golf. It's been very beautiful. The weather, the sea, the rolling green, the blue sky, the golden sun. The time has been easy, fun and even sociable.
Yet, there remains the vague feeling of something not yet accomplished. I have not yet mastered the art of just taking care of myself. Making deals and keeping myself entertained somehow just never seems to be enough. I'm not sure why.
Must be something my mother did or said. Maybe it was my father.
Still, I'm not sure what it is that I am expecting.
So today, after almost two weeks away, I am beginning to schedule appointments for next week. For the first time is six weeks I don't feel afraid of it. I am even just beginning to look forward to seeing everyone -- well almost everyone -- again.
Yet, I have decided that I need to re-allocate my time, find out what is missing, and what it is I expect to do, not just return to what has always been done and keep the ball rolling down the same familiar hill.
As I have said here many times, change is difficult. Even for me. Hopefully, this blog will help hold me accountable.
Saturday, July 26, 2008
Welcome friend
Hey, it's good to see you.
I'm glad you guys could come on down to the little summer place again. Seems like we get to see more people here than we do at home. Have a beer, that is, if you're still drinking.
So, what ya been doing? What ya been thinking? How about them Sox? Going to fold again, like they used to?
How about the world, Huh? Ya think we're going to make it, as a society? This new guy, he says he's a citizen of the world. The old guy, he still wants to go to war. Hates losing, thinks it's a footbal game, except lots of people die,
The new guy certainly can draw a crowd. The old guy is starting to sound kind of mean and bitter.
How come nobody wants the rights to off-shore wind?
How come Boston spent $20 billion, that right $20 billion to dig a hole under the city for a road, which gets clogged with gas guzzling cars, when they could have had the best mass-transit system in the world? And don't tell me I just thought of that because I said this ten years ago, maybe twelve.
Do you think we might have an American society that cares about each other, or should we stick with each of us trying to be millionaires and trying to sell each other crazy mortgages, big cars, fatty food, questionable drugs, insurance that doesn't pay for much, and reality TV. Lindsey? Brittany? Paris? Laura?
Do you want your daughterto be Hanna Montana?
"Wall Street got drunk" the guy said. I wonder how much he's still ben drinking. that's his only possible excuse for fucking up the world so badly.
So, how ya been? How are the kids? Any of them working? Max is 31 and still trying to be a video game tester. He plays "World Destruction" on his phone while he waits for his latte in the bus station. And you say Maggie's pregnant again. Great, you like the other two grand-kids, that you are raising. Maggie knows who the father is this time, that's cool.
As I said, how about them Sox?
I'm glad you guys could come on down to the little summer place again. Seems like we get to see more people here than we do at home. Have a beer, that is, if you're still drinking.
So, what ya been doing? What ya been thinking? How about them Sox? Going to fold again, like they used to?
How about the world, Huh? Ya think we're going to make it, as a society? This new guy, he says he's a citizen of the world. The old guy, he still wants to go to war. Hates losing, thinks it's a footbal game, except lots of people die,
The new guy certainly can draw a crowd. The old guy is starting to sound kind of mean and bitter.
How come nobody wants the rights to off-shore wind?
How come Boston spent $20 billion, that right $20 billion to dig a hole under the city for a road, which gets clogged with gas guzzling cars, when they could have had the best mass-transit system in the world? And don't tell me I just thought of that because I said this ten years ago, maybe twelve.
Do you think we might have an American society that cares about each other, or should we stick with each of us trying to be millionaires and trying to sell each other crazy mortgages, big cars, fatty food, questionable drugs, insurance that doesn't pay for much, and reality TV. Lindsey? Brittany? Paris? Laura?
Do you want your daughterto be Hanna Montana?
"Wall Street got drunk" the guy said. I wonder how much he's still ben drinking. that's his only possible excuse for fucking up the world so badly.
So, how ya been? How are the kids? Any of them working? Max is 31 and still trying to be a video game tester. He plays "World Destruction" on his phone while he waits for his latte in the bus station. And you say Maggie's pregnant again. Great, you like the other two grand-kids, that you are raising. Maggie knows who the father is this time, that's cool.
As I said, how about them Sox?
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
human brains, !
Our brains have evolved over hundred of thousands of years. This convoluted mass of protoplasm is one of the most amazing and complex structures that nature has produced.
Yet, in our present complex culture, some of the basic responses our brains have developed are no longer always adaptive. The process of deciding when to rely on the more intrinsic responses, and when to think about could be the best choice is a good deal about what therapy is about.
Example 1: Our brains have learned to size-up a situation quickly and choose a course of action. Is that shape a friend or a foe? Is it food that I can capture or a tiger that will eat me? The sooner you decide, and decide correctly, the better off you would be.
But, the world is more complex now. The person coming to meet you is a nice guy, but he wants something. There is now time to get more information. It can be harmful to take a position and stick to it as conditions change. You have to learn how to re-evaluate all the time.
Example 2: Brains have learned to take the short-term gain over the long-term. We act like we are rational and can plan, but under pressure we don't. There may be six antelope out in the field, but we will grab this one right here, even if it frightens the rest away.
So I said to him, "You're thirty-two years old and she is seventeen, how come you thought it was a good idea to have sex with her.?"
"Well, she was there, she made herself available, and it seemed like a good idea at the time."
AND it probably was a good idea --- at the time. But not ten minutes later. And now everything is a mess.
Yet, in our present complex culture, some of the basic responses our brains have developed are no longer always adaptive. The process of deciding when to rely on the more intrinsic responses, and when to think about could be the best choice is a good deal about what therapy is about.
Example 1: Our brains have learned to size-up a situation quickly and choose a course of action. Is that shape a friend or a foe? Is it food that I can capture or a tiger that will eat me? The sooner you decide, and decide correctly, the better off you would be.
But, the world is more complex now. The person coming to meet you is a nice guy, but he wants something. There is now time to get more information. It can be harmful to take a position and stick to it as conditions change. You have to learn how to re-evaluate all the time.
Example 2: Brains have learned to take the short-term gain over the long-term. We act like we are rational and can plan, but under pressure we don't. There may be six antelope out in the field, but we will grab this one right here, even if it frightens the rest away.
So I said to him, "You're thirty-two years old and she is seventeen, how come you thought it was a good idea to have sex with her.?"
"Well, she was there, she made herself available, and it seemed like a good idea at the time."
AND it probably was a good idea --- at the time. But not ten minutes later. And now everything is a mess.
Sunday, July 20, 2008
The Difference
This was an interesting week.
Last week I was away, lolling around, stretching, eating, making sure the tide ran on schedule.
This week I was back at work. It was interesting, and mostly predictable to see who had done what while I was away. Some people worked hard to make their lives better. They thought about the things we had talked about, they tried to make some changes. They are the ones who make this job worth it.
Some people worked hard, and thought about things, but are still stuck. Their attempts at changes, both internal and external/interpersonal/environmental, did not make much difference. I feel badly, because they are trying, and maybe I should be figuring out things better.
Of course, others did little. They came to see me again, and tell me the same stuff, with a few new excuses about why it was too difficult to take their finger out of their nose. "I know," I tell them, "life's tough, but, in the end, it's your life to do with what you will."
The differences between groups one and two is usually somewhat apparent. There could unmovable people in their lives, their may be physical impediments, or financial ones, or sometimes it is a real brain thing. But, there is a reason that I think I understand.
Why the folks in group three choose, and I use that word intentionally, to suffer, I don't know. Mostly, they don't see it as a choice. Usually, I do. Sometimes, I can see what the choice gives them. I try to change it, but I can't. Sometimes I really can't tell why they just continue to wallow in their own psychic mud.
The people in group three seem to love coming to therapy. But coming to therapy isn't going to make changes in their lives. They have to use what they get from therapy to make changes. Sometimes that's a tough sell.
Last week I was away, lolling around, stretching, eating, making sure the tide ran on schedule.
This week I was back at work. It was interesting, and mostly predictable to see who had done what while I was away. Some people worked hard to make their lives better. They thought about the things we had talked about, they tried to make some changes. They are the ones who make this job worth it.
Some people worked hard, and thought about things, but are still stuck. Their attempts at changes, both internal and external/interpersonal/environmental, did not make much difference. I feel badly, because they are trying, and maybe I should be figuring out things better.
Of course, others did little. They came to see me again, and tell me the same stuff, with a few new excuses about why it was too difficult to take their finger out of their nose. "I know," I tell them, "life's tough, but, in the end, it's your life to do with what you will."
The differences between groups one and two is usually somewhat apparent. There could unmovable people in their lives, their may be physical impediments, or financial ones, or sometimes it is a real brain thing. But, there is a reason that I think I understand.
Why the folks in group three choose, and I use that word intentionally, to suffer, I don't know. Mostly, they don't see it as a choice. Usually, I do. Sometimes, I can see what the choice gives them. I try to change it, but I can't. Sometimes I really can't tell why they just continue to wallow in their own psychic mud.
The people in group three seem to love coming to therapy. But coming to therapy isn't going to make changes in their lives. They have to use what they get from therapy to make changes. Sometimes that's a tough sell.
Saturday, July 12, 2008
really doesn't matter
Went to the beach at night
the 5/8 moon showing itself thought the mist
one star visible
the sea was calm, the waves rolling slowly and rhythmically
one after another, one after another
we are specs in the universe
untiled by our insignificance
yet, we are all we have
and only have it briefly
take good care of yourself
I hope you mean a lot to you
the 5/8 moon showing itself thought the mist
one star visible
the sea was calm, the waves rolling slowly and rhythmically
one after another, one after another
we are specs in the universe
untiled by our insignificance
yet, we are all we have
and only have it briefly
take good care of yourself
I hope you mean a lot to you
Wednesday, July 09, 2008
$600 an hour?
A friend sent me information about an article in the NY Times bout some NY therapists who get $600 an hour. The article talks about how some of those therapists get sucked into pander a bit to these clients. I guess if someone is going to pay you $600 an hour it must be tough to say things that might drive them away.
As hourly workers go, $600 is right up there. I know there are lots of lawyers who charge more, but most of those charges are paid by big corporate entities. The people who get really rich these days are the ones who can leverage their money, either through many shares of stock, or selling thousands of copies of one thing, form diet books, to hula-hoops.
I truly doubt that these therapists who are getting about 6 times what I get are not saying anything more pithy or life-changing than what I say. As most of you realize by now, I am one of the most skilled and effective psychotherapist on the planet. I just have chose to market my services in some average mill city in New England. I guess that's my fault.
I still have not caved in to the American ideal that those who have more money are worth more as people. I ma not impressed, much to my wife's discontent.
Not that I am against money. If someone wants to send me a check for all of these words of wisdom I'd probably cash it. But, as you can see, I give it away for free -- which either makes me dumb or foolish,
or else makes these words priceless.
As hourly workers go, $600 is right up there. I know there are lots of lawyers who charge more, but most of those charges are paid by big corporate entities. The people who get really rich these days are the ones who can leverage their money, either through many shares of stock, or selling thousands of copies of one thing, form diet books, to hula-hoops.
I truly doubt that these therapists who are getting about 6 times what I get are not saying anything more pithy or life-changing than what I say. As most of you realize by now, I am one of the most skilled and effective psychotherapist on the planet. I just have chose to market my services in some average mill city in New England. I guess that's my fault.
I still have not caved in to the American ideal that those who have more money are worth more as people. I ma not impressed, much to my wife's discontent.
Not that I am against money. If someone wants to send me a check for all of these words of wisdom I'd probably cash it. But, as you can see, I give it away for free -- which either makes me dumb or foolish,
or else makes these words priceless.
Sunday, July 06, 2008
obviously
We are down here near the water for the 4th of July. We saw some fireworks, ate some burgers and dogs and even watch families run relay races carrying eggs on a spoon. It couldn't have been more All-American.
Yet, today, being on vacation I had time to read most of the Sunday paper. I read how Americans have been unwisely using up oil since 1973 when the price started to rise. I read that job security has almost totally vanished in this country for almost everyone. That came as a result of the capitalism that also gives a chance to everyone to become wildly wealthy.
I read how global warming is causing extreme weather, and that is leading to crop shortages, and that already has led to wars, which will get worse in the future. I also read about how our health care system is a mess, and the only real way out will be to get a single-payer national system.
These things are obvious, and they all have been for at least twenty years, most for forty years.
What is also obvious, is that we are still spending billions of dollars to send young men across the world to kill people they don't know, for reasons that are unclear.
But it's tough to change things here in America, as it is anywhere else in the world.
Despite all of our freedoms, which are many, and which should not be taken for granted. It is certainly true that living conditions are certainly better and more free than they were two-hundred years ago. But one thing has not changed: people with money and power will not give those things up easily, despite how unjust the conditions that their holding on to their means of acquiring that wealth might cause. Just look at how difficult it was to get rid of slavery.
As one soldier fighting in Afghanistan was quoted as saying: "It's been true for thousands of years: old, rich, powerful men talk tough -- young, poor, strong boys die."
Yet, today, being on vacation I had time to read most of the Sunday paper. I read how Americans have been unwisely using up oil since 1973 when the price started to rise. I read that job security has almost totally vanished in this country for almost everyone. That came as a result of the capitalism that also gives a chance to everyone to become wildly wealthy.
I read how global warming is causing extreme weather, and that is leading to crop shortages, and that already has led to wars, which will get worse in the future. I also read about how our health care system is a mess, and the only real way out will be to get a single-payer national system.
These things are obvious, and they all have been for at least twenty years, most for forty years.
What is also obvious, is that we are still spending billions of dollars to send young men across the world to kill people they don't know, for reasons that are unclear.
But it's tough to change things here in America, as it is anywhere else in the world.
Despite all of our freedoms, which are many, and which should not be taken for granted. It is certainly true that living conditions are certainly better and more free than they were two-hundred years ago. But one thing has not changed: people with money and power will not give those things up easily, despite how unjust the conditions that their holding on to their means of acquiring that wealth might cause. Just look at how difficult it was to get rid of slavery.
As one soldier fighting in Afghanistan was quoted as saying: "It's been true for thousands of years: old, rich, powerful men talk tough -- young, poor, strong boys die."
Sunday, June 29, 2008
The Gloucester Girls
There has been a big to-do around these parts about several of the 17, sixteen year-old women of Gloucester, MA who got pregnant this spring. It seems that for several of them these pregnancies happened by design and not by the usual kind of lack of planning. The suspicion is that some of the women (girls?) discussed this and planned to have and raise their children together.
I don' know them or what they were thinking, but I do know that in my practice I see three families who have young women, 16, 17 and 18 who are pregnant and who are very intent of keeping their babies.
Now I am not going to enter into a debate about abortion. The point I want to make her is that these young women -- only one of whom has even briefly entered my office to talk about what is going on -- seem to have no real idea of what is going on.
None of them are in a real relationship. All of them have had sex with several different guys. None of the fathers of these pregnancies seem to be taking a real responsible role. One of them cares, one is trying to pull away, and the third father seems to be a mystery.
But, t think that these young women see getting pregnant as the only way they can have something productive to do after they leave high school. They are all from chaotic backgrounds. None of them have had a real or substitute father around for years.
From what I have seen or heard of the women, they could be smart enough to put another kind of life together, but they really either don't know how, don't have the confidence, or don't seem to want to go through the long struggle to get educated, employed, married, settled and give their children a stable home.
In their simplistic form of thinking they feel they can work it backwards. If they have a kid, someone will provide a home, an income, and maybe even a partner.
I don't know. They're not talking. I'm not even sure they are thinking. But I do think it is a refection of what it feels like to be on the losing end of a very competitive, winner-take-all society.
I don' know them or what they were thinking, but I do know that in my practice I see three families who have young women, 16, 17 and 18 who are pregnant and who are very intent of keeping their babies.
Now I am not going to enter into a debate about abortion. The point I want to make her is that these young women -- only one of whom has even briefly entered my office to talk about what is going on -- seem to have no real idea of what is going on.
None of them are in a real relationship. All of them have had sex with several different guys. None of the fathers of these pregnancies seem to be taking a real responsible role. One of them cares, one is trying to pull away, and the third father seems to be a mystery.
But, t think that these young women see getting pregnant as the only way they can have something productive to do after they leave high school. They are all from chaotic backgrounds. None of them have had a real or substitute father around for years.
From what I have seen or heard of the women, they could be smart enough to put another kind of life together, but they really either don't know how, don't have the confidence, or don't seem to want to go through the long struggle to get educated, employed, married, settled and give their children a stable home.
In their simplistic form of thinking they feel they can work it backwards. If they have a kid, someone will provide a home, an income, and maybe even a partner.
I don't know. They're not talking. I'm not even sure they are thinking. But I do think it is a refection of what it feels like to be on the losing end of a very competitive, winner-take-all society.
Friday, June 20, 2008
more than diet and exercise
To me, as a psychologist, when I talk to clients about changing their life-style, it means much more than diet and exercise. The most important thing to me is for people to find ways to find comfort and eliminate stress.
This means more than deep breathing.
From my biased point of view, the best thing anyone can do is surround themselves with good people. That means people who love them, support them, and respect them. It also means that those people have the same expectations of you as you have of them.
Freud, who I don't quote too much, said that to be healthy you have to be able to work and love. I agree with that. Now, working may mean that you take care of kids, or a house, or just simply have found a way to pay your bills and be independent. Loving means that you can maintain a long-term relationship that is mutually rewarding, enriching and beneficial.
If where you work and the people you have around you constantly cause stress, aggravation, conflict and tension, then you won't do too well. You will get worn down, and have symptoms.
I realize that we can't all have control of who our families are, who employs us, and whoever else rambles into our lives and causes havoc.
The world now is full of paperwork, emails, computer menus, late fees, pre-authorizations, user fees, war and salmonella. In addition, our relatives (everyone has them) are angry, depressed, jealous, resentful and/or incapable.
So, making a life-style change can be very difficult, especially since you can't go around shooting people any more.
Even for me, to cut down the hours I spend sitting so that my back gets better, has not been easy. It should be, but it isn't.
But, I will get up from the computer now and stretch.
This means more than deep breathing.
From my biased point of view, the best thing anyone can do is surround themselves with good people. That means people who love them, support them, and respect them. It also means that those people have the same expectations of you as you have of them.
Freud, who I don't quote too much, said that to be healthy you have to be able to work and love. I agree with that. Now, working may mean that you take care of kids, or a house, or just simply have found a way to pay your bills and be independent. Loving means that you can maintain a long-term relationship that is mutually rewarding, enriching and beneficial.
If where you work and the people you have around you constantly cause stress, aggravation, conflict and tension, then you won't do too well. You will get worn down, and have symptoms.
I realize that we can't all have control of who our families are, who employs us, and whoever else rambles into our lives and causes havoc.
The world now is full of paperwork, emails, computer menus, late fees, pre-authorizations, user fees, war and salmonella. In addition, our relatives (everyone has them) are angry, depressed, jealous, resentful and/or incapable.
So, making a life-style change can be very difficult, especially since you can't go around shooting people any more.
Even for me, to cut down the hours I spend sitting so that my back gets better, has not been easy. It should be, but it isn't.
But, I will get up from the computer now and stretch.
Monday, June 16, 2008
wholistic conclusions.
Now that the pain is almost gone, just a few tingles left, I have again realized things that I have known, but have been under a great deal of pressure ignore.
That is that treating symptoms, which is what modern medicine is geared to do, even including psychotherapy, is more often than not, a circular waste of time.
My pain was terrible, although I know others suffer much worse, as plain old Aleve was somewhat effective. My first priority was to get rid of the pain. Nothing can be achieved when the pain is so distracting.
But, if I want the pain to stay away I have to make many changes. What happened to my back took twenty years, and if I don't want it to return, I will have to make life-style changes.
My pain was the result of a knee injury, that was treated only as a knee injury. It was made worse by how I continued to play, work, work-out, sit, drive, sit, walk and sleep.
Yes, I can take steroids, pain-killers or get surgery, and treat the symptoms, but if I do that the symptoms will reoccur sometime after the treatments are over. That's because the problem of my out of line muscles and ligaments won't really be fixed.
If I stretch, walk, work-out differently, don't sit nine ours in a row with only five or ten minute breaks, don't slump over a computer when I'm not sitting in therapy, I can change my body and make it healthy.
As a therapist I know this is true too. The symptoms I see, such as anxiety, depression, panic, lack of energy, lack enthusiasm, drug abuse, impulsiveness, temper tantrums, and alike are all symptoms of problems that usually, not always, but almost always, require life-style changes.
That takes a lot of work; a lot of consistent, sustained work.
Insurance companies don't like that. They want us to pick a symptom, treat the symptom, and go on to the next case. That is cheaper in the short run, but it only means that people will soon be back with new symptoms and the same situation which has become worse.
This is true of many, many conditions: obesity, diabetes, high blood pressure, irritable bowel syndrome,colitis, even many forms of heart disease and some cancers.
But medicine doesn't work that way. We are expert at treating symptoms. The problems often remain, the symptoms reappear. The treatments continue. Many drugs are designed to be taken for the rest of the patient's life. That way the symptoms are gone and some people make a lot of money.
We are even worse at prevention.
That is that treating symptoms, which is what modern medicine is geared to do, even including psychotherapy, is more often than not, a circular waste of time.
My pain was terrible, although I know others suffer much worse, as plain old Aleve was somewhat effective. My first priority was to get rid of the pain. Nothing can be achieved when the pain is so distracting.
But, if I want the pain to stay away I have to make many changes. What happened to my back took twenty years, and if I don't want it to return, I will have to make life-style changes.
My pain was the result of a knee injury, that was treated only as a knee injury. It was made worse by how I continued to play, work, work-out, sit, drive, sit, walk and sleep.
Yes, I can take steroids, pain-killers or get surgery, and treat the symptoms, but if I do that the symptoms will reoccur sometime after the treatments are over. That's because the problem of my out of line muscles and ligaments won't really be fixed.
If I stretch, walk, work-out differently, don't sit nine ours in a row with only five or ten minute breaks, don't slump over a computer when I'm not sitting in therapy, I can change my body and make it healthy.
As a therapist I know this is true too. The symptoms I see, such as anxiety, depression, panic, lack of energy, lack enthusiasm, drug abuse, impulsiveness, temper tantrums, and alike are all symptoms of problems that usually, not always, but almost always, require life-style changes.
That takes a lot of work; a lot of consistent, sustained work.
Insurance companies don't like that. They want us to pick a symptom, treat the symptom, and go on to the next case. That is cheaper in the short run, but it only means that people will soon be back with new symptoms and the same situation which has become worse.
This is true of many, many conditions: obesity, diabetes, high blood pressure, irritable bowel syndrome,colitis, even many forms of heart disease and some cancers.
But medicine doesn't work that way. We are expert at treating symptoms. The problems often remain, the symptoms reappear. The treatments continue. Many drugs are designed to be taken for the rest of the patient's life. That way the symptoms are gone and some people make a lot of money.
We are even worse at prevention.
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Pain 4
Well, it's finally breaking up. The pain is abating, some flexibility is returning, my outlook is improving and there is hope on the horizon.
What is disappointing is how difficult it was to get real help, and how, in the end, I had to find it and do it myself.
So many people my age have been through this sciatica thing. Everyone has their own cure. That's mostly because, most of the time, it goes away by itself. So whatever anyone was doing at the time was what they believe in.
Because I always worked so hard to keep in shape, I really set myself up to be locked out of shape once my body shifted. I actually have spent about 20 years setting this up.
But getting help was not helpful. No one really looked at the whole picture of who I was,and what my muscles, ligaments and bones were doing. What I did for work (sit a lot), and how I worked out.
The doctor (MD) used "evidence based medicine" and recommended for me to follow the course of what most people would need. Unfortunately this course would be very slow, very expensive, involve a dozen different people, and then end up right where I am now-- stretching.
The chiropractor said rest, ice heat, which was fine in the beginning. He couldn't move my bones though, because the muscles were too tight.
The message people were great, but I can't get a message every day. They found the problem, but really didn't offer a solution.
I found all the stretches on Rebuild Your Back.com. I am doing 7 stretches 5 or 6 times a day and it works.
So, I am getting my life back. I have cut my schedule of clients 10 to 20%. I am trying not to get back to the 115% level that got me into this in the first place.
But people keep calling.
I guess they think I have something to say. Or else I just listen really good.
What is disappointing is how difficult it was to get real help, and how, in the end, I had to find it and do it myself.
So many people my age have been through this sciatica thing. Everyone has their own cure. That's mostly because, most of the time, it goes away by itself. So whatever anyone was doing at the time was what they believe in.
Because I always worked so hard to keep in shape, I really set myself up to be locked out of shape once my body shifted. I actually have spent about 20 years setting this up.
But getting help was not helpful. No one really looked at the whole picture of who I was,and what my muscles, ligaments and bones were doing. What I did for work (sit a lot), and how I worked out.
The doctor (MD) used "evidence based medicine" and recommended for me to follow the course of what most people would need. Unfortunately this course would be very slow, very expensive, involve a dozen different people, and then end up right where I am now-- stretching.
The chiropractor said rest, ice heat, which was fine in the beginning. He couldn't move my bones though, because the muscles were too tight.
The message people were great, but I can't get a message every day. They found the problem, but really didn't offer a solution.
I found all the stretches on Rebuild Your Back.com. I am doing 7 stretches 5 or 6 times a day and it works.
So, I am getting my life back. I have cut my schedule of clients 10 to 20%. I am trying not to get back to the 115% level that got me into this in the first place.
But people keep calling.
I guess they think I have something to say. Or else I just listen really good.
Friday, June 06, 2008
pain 3, the doctor
So, after suffering too long and trying alternative solutions I went to the medical doctor today. I haven't been to a regular doctor, except for my eyes, in years, so this was a new guy in a big medical complex.
He was easy to approach, thoughtful, and reasonable. He did a few pokes and squeezes and twists and agreed that yes, I had sciatica. He said it has lasted a bit more than normal so that isn't a good sign. Then he wrote orders for tests.
I left some blood there at the lab, so they can see if I have cancer, and then I'm supposed to get an MRI. I buy my own insurance and have a $2000 deductible, so this will probably eat all of it up, especially if I get the MRI, which they said is about $1200. In Taiwan an MRI costs $125. I will have to pay for his insight, for the lab, for, and later for the guy to read the MRI, then the new people at the back clinic, and then the Physical Tx people. by then it will be over $2K so I will only pay 20% or something, who knows.
But the medical alternatives seem to be drugs and/or surgery, and I'm not keen on either. He offered my a few drugs to control the pain. that was friendly, but they are not the kind that will dampen the inflammation and heal the problem. They are more the kind that many of my clients try to buy on the street.
He also offered me anti-inflammatory meds, but said it would be cheaper to just triple my doses of Advil.
So, I'm taking more Advil, I will give the acupressure guy and the chiropractor another week to work magic or else I get the MRI and enter the medical world, but I am very reluctant to do so. I guess, as a psychotherapist I remain an "alternative" kind of guy.
For now, I am back to my favorite weekend medication, which is Jamison. It doesn't do much for the future, but it makes the present brighter.
Everything in moderation!
He was easy to approach, thoughtful, and reasonable. He did a few pokes and squeezes and twists and agreed that yes, I had sciatica. He said it has lasted a bit more than normal so that isn't a good sign. Then he wrote orders for tests.
I left some blood there at the lab, so they can see if I have cancer, and then I'm supposed to get an MRI. I buy my own insurance and have a $2000 deductible, so this will probably eat all of it up, especially if I get the MRI, which they said is about $1200. In Taiwan an MRI costs $125. I will have to pay for his insight, for the lab, for, and later for the guy to read the MRI, then the new people at the back clinic, and then the Physical Tx people. by then it will be over $2K so I will only pay 20% or something, who knows.
But the medical alternatives seem to be drugs and/or surgery, and I'm not keen on either. He offered my a few drugs to control the pain. that was friendly, but they are not the kind that will dampen the inflammation and heal the problem. They are more the kind that many of my clients try to buy on the street.
He also offered me anti-inflammatory meds, but said it would be cheaper to just triple my doses of Advil.
So, I'm taking more Advil, I will give the acupressure guy and the chiropractor another week to work magic or else I get the MRI and enter the medical world, but I am very reluctant to do so. I guess, as a psychotherapist I remain an "alternative" kind of guy.
For now, I am back to my favorite weekend medication, which is Jamison. It doesn't do much for the future, but it makes the present brighter.
Everything in moderation!
Wednesday, June 04, 2008
pain 2 -- loss of arrogance
I didn't really realize it before, and I'm kind of startled by it, but now that I am going through this pain thing, it's become clear.
Part of what I've learned is how, as a therapist, I've been carrying around an underlying arrogance, and I don't think that's a good thing.
But somehow, even though I have even posted here about how aware I am that one slight random event can completely change your life, I guess I never really thought that would be me. Yes, I was grateful that nothing really terrible had happened to me, but like most people, I attributed it to my own abilities, foresight and planning.
Yes,I am a good, caring and understanding therapist, but I also always somewhat, put on a very subtle display as having a good life. I was in shape, I was financially sound, I have a long-term marriage,and my kids are grown and doing pretty well. I was not yet rich and famous, but perhaps that would come too. I guess, in some ways, I felt I was a good model. But it was also a kind of arrogance. Kind of "see, I can do it, you should do it too -- maybe not just like me, but like you want it.
Now, I've been in pain for six weeks. This is the kind of thing that is common, and happens to everyone, but it still isn't really over, and it has been very limiting and debilitating. Now, I can show that I can stand the pain and the adversity. I have many clients who have much worse and more chronic conditions, but I am still in the midst of mine.
And I don't like it. it sucks, I'm sick of it.I'm getting treatment and improving, but it's slow. I get worried that it won't end, I get tired and irritable.
The severity of what I am going through is also partly my fault because I don't ask for help. That's part of the arrogance. I had always worked these things out myself. A few pills, ice, stretching. So, I just kind of denied, or hid the problem. That was part of the arrogance too. I caoul handle my problems myself.
So, now I'm finished with that. I'm going for help wherever I can find it.
Anyone who can push the magic button will get a big kiss.
They say it will take time. That's what I say to all my clients.
But this is America -- I want to be better now.
Part of what I've learned is how, as a therapist, I've been carrying around an underlying arrogance, and I don't think that's a good thing.
But somehow, even though I have even posted here about how aware I am that one slight random event can completely change your life, I guess I never really thought that would be me. Yes, I was grateful that nothing really terrible had happened to me, but like most people, I attributed it to my own abilities, foresight and planning.
Yes,I am a good, caring and understanding therapist, but I also always somewhat, put on a very subtle display as having a good life. I was in shape, I was financially sound, I have a long-term marriage,and my kids are grown and doing pretty well. I was not yet rich and famous, but perhaps that would come too. I guess, in some ways, I felt I was a good model. But it was also a kind of arrogance. Kind of "see, I can do it, you should do it too -- maybe not just like me, but like you want it.
Now, I've been in pain for six weeks. This is the kind of thing that is common, and happens to everyone, but it still isn't really over, and it has been very limiting and debilitating. Now, I can show that I can stand the pain and the adversity. I have many clients who have much worse and more chronic conditions, but I am still in the midst of mine.
And I don't like it. it sucks, I'm sick of it.I'm getting treatment and improving, but it's slow. I get worried that it won't end, I get tired and irritable.
The severity of what I am going through is also partly my fault because I don't ask for help. That's part of the arrogance. I had always worked these things out myself. A few pills, ice, stretching. So, I just kind of denied, or hid the problem. That was part of the arrogance too. I caoul handle my problems myself.
So, now I'm finished with that. I'm going for help wherever I can find it.
Anyone who can push the magic button will get a big kiss.
They say it will take time. That's what I say to all my clients.
But this is America -- I want to be better now.
Sunday, June 01, 2008
pain 1
Wow, it's been a month. That's quite a while, even for a fading blogger like me.
Well, there was a reason, pain. I have this sciatica thing, pain, running right down my leg. It's mostly better, but it's still there. It makes it difficult to sit in a chair and type at a computer unless I sit exactly right.
I have learned a lot during this month, about myself, growing old, living with pain, and how I react.
I don't like it, this pain thing. I don't recommend it as a learning experience. But it seems now that I will survive.
It has given me insight into some of my clients, and into how no one can really tell how much pain you feel. So many people I see in my practice are sent to me because many doctors feel these people are in pain, but not THAT much pain. It's very difficult to tell.
Some people want drugs, some people want attention, some people want excuses. But many are just in pain, and it kind of sucks.
I will have a lot more to say about this. I've got to stand up now.
Well, there was a reason, pain. I have this sciatica thing, pain, running right down my leg. It's mostly better, but it's still there. It makes it difficult to sit in a chair and type at a computer unless I sit exactly right.
I have learned a lot during this month, about myself, growing old, living with pain, and how I react.
I don't like it, this pain thing. I don't recommend it as a learning experience. But it seems now that I will survive.
It has given me insight into some of my clients, and into how no one can really tell how much pain you feel. So many people I see in my practice are sent to me because many doctors feel these people are in pain, but not THAT much pain. It's very difficult to tell.
Some people want drugs, some people want attention, some people want excuses. But many are just in pain, and it kind of sucks.
I will have a lot more to say about this. I've got to stand up now.
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